::::::::: Its My LifE :::::::::

"Koi loatade mere betein hue din"..........finally it was farewell night, an indicator that our stint at AIM is finally coming to an end and now what awaits us is the real world outside...........scarry and in the same time hopeful of making it big.

the juniors put up a good show, hope to come back during convocation..........a feeling of nostalgia has come over me...........this place has taught me a lot, given me probably the best of friends so far, given me a job.................but most importantly given me a dream................

i have selected a few photographs of my close friends to put in my blog.

the invitation & the theme "Protoganist"

Neha(harry potter), I(gabbar), Rajesh(alexander), Anand(swami),
Sanjeev(hitler)

Navneet(ocean 11), Joydeep(mr.cool), Rajesh(alexander)

Rajesh(alexander) & public behind

Poonam (anjali) and Santosh (ashoka)

Abhilasha(rani mukherjee-blind), Deepak(thake hare)

Narendra(junior), Rajesh(alexander), Santosh(ashoka), Rajpreet, Naveen(zorro)

Nitesh(bus yuhin), I(gabbar), Abhilasha(black), Vasudha mam, Neha mam

Neha(hp), Anand(swami), Sanjeev(hitler), Prabhat sir(srk)

Its my birthday today…………turn 24 today, it’s a long stay in this strange world which I have still to figure out.

I know friends will call up to wish me, and some not so friends will come to complete the formality……I kind of feel nostalgic as I remember the grand way in which birthdays are celebrated at home, first the puja in the temple, then the big party bash, enough presents to last for a whole year, so much of laughter and smiles, blessings………but guess we all have to pay a price for growing up.

And on this special day what awaits me is studying for the viva, staying alone in my room the whole day long, having the inedible mess food as cant afford to go out today...........really, really missing my family……..this is the 2nd year in a roll that I will be spending my birthday away from home.

Mumma knows how I feel on this day, so mom, dad, di, jiju and puchku were planning to come to kolkata to spend the day with me, despite my sister having to leave for nagpur the very next day, I just hope everyone has a family like mine, but unfortunately its election day in kolkata today…………so the plan had to be dropped.

Anyways lately I have taken an addiction for this great song, sung by AKON…….mr.lonely

this movie is about prostitution of widows, which might not be as 'unnatural' in India as lesbianism was, the fact that it happenned (and perhaps, is happening) under the watchful eyes of the religious establishment.

hope it gets released in india some time soon.

Yesterday I had an unusual experience-I met an OWL, feel in love with it and then had to let it go.

I have saved many creatures of the wild before-once I picked a puppy who fell in the drain and nursed it for several days, same happened with a kitten also, have saved a couple of bird fledglings but they never made it, once while trekking I found a non-poisonous injured snake which I picked up and later in the day gave away to the zoo authorities, then there have been numerous ants, butterflies, cows, stray dogs, snails, earthworms, etc.-I don’t know whether I am interfering with the food chain, but that’s what I do.

While talking on the phone to my mother, I suddenly saw something fall from the tree in front of our hostel.
At first I did not pay any attention to it, but then out of nowhere hundreds of crows appeared-its then that after paying closer attention I realized that it was an OWL!!

The first thing that came to my mind was calling rkr-since he is also involved in animal protection activities, but guys of my insti., being the nocturnal creatures they are-he was in deep sleep so it was useless.
Then I saw two other guys sj and sr going from there-I shouted “save it”, but the reply I got was-“its an owl”-I wanted to shout back,”yeah I know, now do something about it”-but all they did was turned a deaf ear towards me, called out to the owl as if it were a dog and walked away.

I was furious at the stupidity of everyone, so I just ran downstairs in my night suit and picked it up before the crows could kill it-it was so big, so furry, so soft, so frightened, so beautiful, and above all so sleepy….it could not even open its eyes.
Despite searching for an appropriate place to hide it, I found none, so took it to the girl’s gym which is adjacent to my room.

By that time other girls of my wing had also come together.Abhilasha and I tried to create a nest out of newspaper (though I am not sure if owls live in nests or not) and put O (that’s what I named it) on it, O instantly fell to sleep.

As girls started coming in, so did their stupid question, are people simply stupid or do they pretend to be so, I find it difficult to understand. Here are some comments they made:
*Owls are bad omen
*Owl! Owl!, I have never seen one in my life
*Oh its shit is yellow in colour, the white shit doing owls are good omen
*Its colour is changing, does it have a disease
*Why is it sleeping now
*Let us give it to the zoo; we can make some money out of it…….

“Oh god, just save me from these ullus”, was the only prayer I made.

Anyways Abhi and I just stuck to our posts in the gym, studying, chatting softly not to disturb O, but majority of the time we just kept staring at O, I really can’t explain the feeling of sitting close to an owl-it’s just so different.

At around 5pm it started moving around the gym, still sleepy though as it could not walk straight and had its eyes still half-closed. I offered it water and some cake but O was in no mood for any of it. At 6:30pm we decided it was time to let O fly away.

I carried O to a small clearing near the college, put it down on the grass and walked away. Then something unbelievable happened, it walked back to where I was standing-this happened twice-was it frightened or did it get too attached to me (because I did), I really don’t know.
But it had to go for its own good-finally I left O on the grass, patted its head, said some encouraging words and then it finally flew away-with its wings open we realized how big O really was……….nearly 2mts.from one end to the other.

GORGEOUS-yeah that’s what it really was.

Late that night I stood in the corridor waiting patiently to get one glimpse of O-probably next time.

*Well I know u all will like this new look of my blog because I love it……….complete credit goes to, Rajesh, the god, if its too early to declare him so, lets call him the demi-god of blogging who not only suggested this change but took the pains to sit for around 3hrs., searched the right look, modified it and worked on it till the last detail and this is what I have right now………..

*plz. note that since my existence in this world is quite questionable so the planet on the top bar is presumably my home, Jupiter or something……….

*The other rather pleasant experience of today was that santosh asked me to accompany him till the atm, which I did and on the way I had my most favourite thing……bhutta, or maize if u call it so, and not one but two………..then we had decided to have thumsup, when this idea struck me that why not try having it in a kullhar(mud-glasses) and believe it was so good, all foamy and despite it being all chilled it was so easy to drink……….my recommendation, do have it, its worth the experience, and u know what I could use this idea in my future restaurant……….the Indian feel!!!

*But amongst all this the thing that is worrying me is that I am not studying with the dedication and concentration that I usually do……….the reason I actually don’t know, could be many or none………but whatever need to get serious now

I have hardly slept for 3 hrs. last night, thanks to the hot and humid weather of kolkata and moreover my rather very disturbing dreams or nightmare……..probably that describes it better.

What is it about dreams, why do we need to dream, what is its significance, what are their relevance……..these are questions probably some scientist can explain, but as far as I am concerned I hardly have any use for them. I would prefer a quite and uneventful night rather than the one I had last night.

I dream a lot, whatever the reason may be, but unfortunately I remember only the bad dreams, I do wonder that whether if at all I have good dreams??
And these bad dreams of mine have a pretty high frequency rate, they are so clear, I can see the face of all the people very clearly, whatever they say is so absolutely clear that even unwantingly I can remember it till late after getting up………….and by bad dreams I mean……..i rather not write it.

These unwelcome actions have forced me to put on a high vott night bulb when I go to sleep. So that if I have one of my dreams and am woken up in the middle of the night I at least do not have to sit in complete darkness until sanity finally has control over my rather shaky and battered nerves.

I have read that dreams are the consequence of all the events that we encounter during the course of the day, but as far as the record goes my nightmares are no where near to my real life, but if it were……..i think I would go crazy with so much of horror and suspense and……

Whatever, hope to catch some sleep now as day has already broken and whilst my neighbours have started studying for the day I need to catch up with some sleep……hope it’s a quite one this time.

Update:
Am I in luck or what, I had an unusual experience………when I went back to sleep I had a continuation of the same nightmare……..probably this could get me a place in the guinees book of world record for having the longest nightmare that too with a break.
Anyways am going to have a washing day today and hope it can get the stupid thing out of my mind.

Though this is not the Valentine season yet wanted to write something about it............All the time I have heard people talking about it, read a lot of poetry and stories about it, heard a lot of experiences, seen a lot of movies regarding it………..and finally have come to the conclusion that it sure does exist but only the fortunate few actually live it.

The Webster English dictionary describes LOVE as :


*A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
*A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.


I had once seen a documentary on Discovery channel about love and it showed that love actually exists only for a short period during which the right part of the brain secretes chemicals which gives people the feeling of experiencing something out of the ordinary, but they also said that the initial phase is pure infatuation and what follows later is compatibility, affection, reliability…etc. and that is what real love is…..

Anyways I have seen many people experience what they think is love, let me give a few egs…

*College love which got lost and put this person in a shell which is difficult to break, left a wound which has still not healed, hope with time and maturity it will……..was it love or infatuation, how can one know???

*An experienced hand in love, first the girl left him and then to boost his low ego fell in love with another and left her, now has the confidence that can make anyone his deewani………is this what love is, can one fall in love with many people, is it love always???

*Has had a score of girlfriends right from class 2 and says he fell in love with each one of them………is it possible to understand love at such a small age, how does one draw a line between flirting and actually being in love???

*A failure in love, tried a lot of times to convince others that he truly and deeply loves the other person but has failed miserably all the times, but very convincingly falls in love again…….is it possible to fall in love so frequently???

*Lovingly calls his love his biwi, have been together for a long time and plan to marry soon, though the girl is not well informed about worldly issues…….so is it still love or a commitment???

*Knew a guy as a best friend who fell in love with her but she never felt the same for him, so despite him saying it a lot of times she never accepted it, now has fallen in love with someone or so she thinks because the feeling just increases everyday, but she will never say it to him and the secret will lie deep in her heart because one word and a lot of things will change and what about her family……….is love not strong enough to give people the strength to accept and just say it???

There are many instances when I do question what LOVE actually is and it surprises me that when the whole world is going mad studying for the upcoming exams, then why the hell am I writing about something I have so little experience and exposure about……

But I do wonder that wouldn’t it be nice for all to fall in love, crazy love, when u don’t give a damn for the world, things are so rosy, you always have a reason to day dream, lots of gifts, and what else would we need then……….to have the right to love and be loved, to stand in front of all and just say the magical words

Some say that nothing like love actually exists, some say it is the best thing that can ever happen to anyone, some say actual love grows with time and its worth experiencing it, for some love is like changing your clothes, for some it’s just a word, while for some its their life……….so whatever it is may those who have it enjoy it and those who don’t, if its worth it, may we all get it sometime soon!!!!!!