::::::::: Its My LifE :::::::::

Lonely......yeah, thats exactly what i feel every evening when i make my return journey to the pg (paying guest).........

so much so that i even volunteer to work on holidays......thats what the lonely syndrome has done to me.........i try to work late every evening, or even if the work gets finished early i loiter in the office or sit at the cafe coffee day.......near my place........and drink endless cups of coffee............
the pg is a lonely place, i dont get to watch any tv, my only indulgences are readying the newspaper, listening to radio.....or once in a while i go to the rooms of the other pg girls and sit around...........but that too is not good as the other girl in my friends room is not very comfortable with other people in her room.........so i make my visits really short and return to my room and just do..........god knows what.

it really hurts when i fall sick, i really miss mom at those times.....no one even bothers to ask, "how r u", even for the sake of it.........there have been endless times when i have sobbed myself to sleep.......well probably i am not mature enough, or old enough to absorb such issues...probably with time and experience i will be able to handle such issues better.

but then there is office, where i can work and forget everything.........just about everything in those 10hrs. everyday.
things have not been going on that well of late..........i had 2 accidents involving the cab, and both times i was just lucky to come out alive......close thats what it was, did leave me pretty bruised, but did not tell mom/dad cause they would have worried, bekar mein........

EXPECTATION...thats the root of all problems, I KNOW, but being human i still do the same mistake again and again.......i still crave for the emotional support, the bonding, the shoulder to cry on.......................HUMAN, guess thats what i am.