::::::::: Its My LifE :::::::::

i sometimes have these thoughts that probably i really am from.......... jupiter or that i am born in a wrong era or probably in the wrong place.........this is not a thought that has suddenly crept in my mind but is the result of years of observation........let me give u some examples:

--i hate it when people pronounce my name in some other form, other than the way it should be pronounced and once ended up giving a 30min. tution to one of my dads foreign friends, u should have looked at his face at the dinner table.........i overheard him telling my dad that he has a difficult child

--i want the table of any restaurant i visit, set to perfection........and when that does not happen i sort of make the life of the person waiting on me quite difficult, i beleive that things should be the way they are supposed to be

--i am a perfectionist when it comes to arranging my room, i set things in the way i like and even one change catches my attention and i can go to any levels trying to figure out who messed my things.

--i want to help everyone i see who is in need and i know it is not possible, my friends find it difficult to hold me back from going into full time social service

----i love to read my morning paper crisp and taaza, if someone reads it before me i never read it, so i used to purchase my personal copy which my roomy made it a point to read it everyday before me and tarnish the freshness of the paper, this irritated me so much that i stopped taking the paper

--i cannot sit with a person who i know has bad-mouthed me or who has worked against me, my face being my worst enemy just reveals everything without me having to do much

--i feel confused when i am with people i know bitch about each other behind the other persons back, but when they are together they behave as though they are the best of friends..........where the hell do they get those masks from, in which market???

-- i suffer from extreme mood swing disorder, it ranges from..........smiling at everyone, acknowledging only friends, staying completely mum, totally lost.........there are many other phases which i am unable to identify

--i cant tolerate peolpe who keep bragging about themselves, i just want to shout out aloud, "just shut up, i know you are lying", and it really makes me sick in the stomach to keep faking that plastic smile

--i hate big parties or those family get-togethers where all the aunties smear themselves in tons of make-up, desperately trying to look young and keep repeating the same dialogue, "aare kitni badi ho gayi hai, bachpan me to....", and all the uncles dressed in those suits and ties who just discuss business and more business as if nothing else exists in this world worth talking about

--i hate my doc. when he gives me one of those looks.........u know i know it all, and now i am going to give you some more bad news...........he makes me feel more sick each time i visit him.

--i feel lost in a crowd, stupid but true, i just loose my way and the moment i reach i start figuring out the best workable excuse to get out of there

--i cant wear unironed, dirty clothes and cant share my clothes with anyone else other than my di, nor do i borrow from others..........despite whatever others might think, just cant help it

now this list can go on and on.........

my guru always says that being successful is not only about knowing your strengths and working with them, rather its about knowing your weakness and trying to improve on it because thats what pulls down a person.

i think i understand him, but being who i am its really difficult, though i am working on it........i think i need to be sent to jupiter for some corrections if thats where the problem is, or probably back in the past if they can accept people like me in any era.............warna aagar koi raasta nahi nikla to bus :"jina hi zindagi hai jeete hi jaa rahain hain"..............aap logon ko parashan karne ke liye hume afsoos hai, its a major technical snag-------