::::::::: Its My LifE :::::::::

the week that was

2010-10-08T08:14:00.000-07:00

this week i had the opportunity to meet someone special....technically shes my boss....but what a week it was....
wont write her name or put any pics, cause she doesnt like any internet presence...

anyways what is it about people which attracts us to them - its different for different people of course....but for me its:
*intelligent
*self-made
*charming
*easy to go
*easy to spend time with
*humour
*just the feel good feeling of being in someones company

now this lady had all of it....so naturally anyone whould like her company...only one issue though was that, since this was her first time in India she was a little scared of the organized chaos here :-)
no worries though - next time i guess she will be more open to see the real India...hopefully i too will start driving by then....sounds exciting

so in all it was a week well spent....i would love to be buddies with her...but then she's my boss, from singapore....though i would love to, its really hard to find one like her....
as i sit on my train berth, on my way to jamshedpur to meet my parents, busy bloggig on my mobile, with the soft humming of the engine in my ears....i think about the week that was....

2010-09-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

Move On...

2010-09-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

Yes that we all need to do....just move on...

Be it me, be it u or be it the Ayodhya issue...

The more we hang on to something for long, we loose the flavour of it...and what remains is the sorry state of affairs we find ourselves in...

So just move on...nothing stops, the days become months and years, then decades....and by the time you realize what it was that you have held on for so long...was probably never worth it or never good enough to be true....making sense??

So today when the courts were passing the judgment i was sitting in my favourite place - the terrace - and clicked this beautiful pic...a clear blue sky with some white clouds...what a perfect picture...what a perfect day...

and i decided to move on....nothing is worth hanging on for so long...

The FeMale chauvinistic Society

2010-05-15T01:20:00.000-07:00

Where is the world going to….we always talk about equality – equal rights for males and females, but what is the reality, care to think about that…

Are Women so driven by the male chauvinism that–

· they spend most of the time wondering if they are looking good,
· spend tons of money at the beauty parlours , undergoing torturous waxing and hair plucking sessions, lie blinded by cucumber on their eyes - with some absurdity on their faces, only hoping to come out looking better when they wash out the absurdity
· practically starving themselves to death
· avoid going out in the sun – or they may loose their complexion – cant enjoy any outdoor games in the bargain
· are miles away from sweets or chocolates- the best thing human-race has ever created
· spend so much of time and money on buying clothes, purses, shoes, nail polish, make-up stuff, diet food, fruits, vitamin tablets, junk jewellery…..
· go for dinners but hardly eat anything
· the list goes on and on….

But then one may ask, who is forcing them to undergo the above……they are free to eat anything, look the way they want to look like, wear what they want, laugh out loud and not always give the sheepish lady-like smile, dance like crazy at parties – not bothering what anyone is saying or looking at you with disdain…..

The truth is a woman’s biggest dictator, competition, threat is another woman – and a woman is always competing against other women…..males chauvinism come second…..a woman is always trying to out-do another woman

· oh she has the latest collection of clothing….why not me
· oh she got a new hair-cut and people are complementing her…..why not me
· oh she looks so great, slim and perfect…..why not me, even if I have to starve myself to get there
· oh she has a new bag / shoes / watch / …..why not me
· oh she is friends with this dude…why not me – if not the same guy, then someone close to him
· oh she visits this famous parlour……why not me
· oh she drives this car…..why not me – or probably a better model
· oh she goes for dinner to this place – why not me
· oh she hangs out at this happening disc – why not me
· the list again goes on and on…..with all woman ending up as perfect clones of each other

And those who do not get in this race / constant competition, are left out – they are lost in the flood of other faces……their existence is ignored, they are there to do the dirty work, outcast by their own clan, male colleagues avoid hanging-out with the non-happening women team members……
So what kind of a life does a woman really want to live – be the complete woman, connect to the her inner child, or the past when curves were considered to be the bench-mark of beauty, when eating with family and friends was the norm, when a man fell in love with a woman’s soul and not her skin, when a woman’s uniqueness was her biggest asset, when luxury and necessity were very clearly differentiated…….

I don’t know……cause I want to belong to the second type……but don’t know if I am allowed to do that……

Questions - some mine, some not mine

2010-05-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

· Would you prefer a hot and happening girl who doesn’t wash her hands after using the washroom or a grounded and realistic girl who washes her hands and keeps the environment germ free??
· Would you prefer a grey/white haired guy who makes you smile or a dude who pisses you off in a couple of minutes??
· Do you prefer being seen with the good looking happening crowd – even though they are complete idiots or with people with whom you are comfortable to talk with and like minded individuals??
· Do you believe in love at first sight – especially with someone in office – where you have to politically correct always??
· Do you want to abuse your senior colleague out loud and let the whole-world know what an ass hole he/she is or smile your way out of everything??
· Do you feel that you are highly under-paid and others are highly-overpaid??
· Do you feel like finishing off tomorrows work today, and when you do that, do you wonder what will you do tomorrow??
· Do you feel that you have so much work that it will never end??
· Do you go crazy / insecure on days when you have comparatively less work and more leisure time, wondering why you are not glued to your system as other days??
· Are you infatuated by someone and wait for that person to be alone at the water-cooler and rush there to get a chance to talk to him/her – even though you not thirsty and your bladder if full to the max.??
· Do you get impressed by someone at first and soon realize in the next couple of days that that person is a complete fool??
· Are you in doubt of your ability for wit and humour when speaking to senior colleagues??
· Are you still in the habit to call your senior colleagues as Sir and Mam??
· Do you see yourself in your senior colleagues position in a couple of years – with plans to enslave others – as is being done to others??
· Are you a perfectionist and abhor others who are not – always comparing your work and presentations to theirs??
· Are you a TDP – Technology Disabled Person – always asking for others help to do things??
· Are you so moody – that people find it difficult to decide when is the right time to approach you??
· Have you by now mastered the art of fake smiles – and become so good at it, that you even fool yourself at times??
· Do you forget the names of people, and while talking to them you look at their ID card more then their faces??
· Are you the flag-bearer of the clean-desk policy – to such an extent that to keep your desk clean, you sometimes throw away imp. stuff, only to realize later??
· Are you obsessed with self-grooming and think lowly of people who are not well-groomed??
· Are you planning to visit the ENT doctor – because long hours on the telephone are affecting your hearing – or that’s what you think??
· Do you begin your day with talking to Singapore, Pakistan, UAE, UK, Africa and end with South Africa – and by now you can even understand the accent of a cockroach??
· Are you no longer afraid of escalations??

!!!!Very Interesting!!!!

2010-05-09T05:28:00.000-07:00

MOM....Happy Mothers Day

2010-05-09T04:12:00.000-07:00

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even if i wrote a thousand words, they would not be enough....my mom...my best friend, my guide, my philosopher, my yes machine, my Saviour....i only wish i could be the same kind of mother to my kids...

00:30 of 8th may '10

2010-05-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

it's 00:30 in the morning of 8th of May....and i cant sleep...I am listening to romantic songs...have i done it again... :-))

when someone wants to give you gyan..they'll say - "hum is duniya mein akale aaye hain, akele hi jayenge"...agreed we come and go alone - but what abt in between...do we have to be alone then too..makes me smile when i write this..

Loneliness is the biggest white collared disease i guess of our age..I am a lonely soul (too late to make a confession - but its true)

I am surrounded by people in the bus, at office, on the roads, at airports, at railway stations - and yet i always feel lonely..I smile but at what, i laugh with people-but have i heard them well or am i laughing because others are...

my parents are looking for a guy for me...and as i write this, there is the tanishq adv on television - when the father tells his daughter "marriage is a good thing"....will write more about that when i finally find the guy, marry and then will write about the after-effects...
i want to munch smthg unhealthy..when amir khan comes on television and is giving out extra-large t-shirts to people munching oily stuff - reminds me i have to start my exercising routine from tomorrow..my sick leave is now done..

i will now post the above...without reading it once...i have really wanted to post smthg i never read once to check for any errors...what can i say, its 00:40 in the morning on 8th of May and i am listening to romantic songs...

2010 - all is well

2010-01-02T05:03:00.002-08:00

i am on a train which is running 14 hrs late, we are out of food, the pantry car has no stocks left, am having a bad case of cold after partying out till 4am on new yr......

Yet all is well........well bcoz i am blogging after about 8 mths, my true love:.....on my bros mobile, this seems to be a gud enough start to the yr......rest on my other blogs

2010 -

2010-01-02T05:03:00.000-08:00

economy of change

2009-05-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

great people have said that change is the only constant thing in life....and so very true it really is. yes change - change for the good, the bad or worse....change for whatever-is always good. it keeps the flavour in our lives going, otherwise life would be really boring.....imagine being in a constant state of grief or of pleasure, nothing to bother abt or always to bother about....

at college my favourite subject was economics, i loved it because of the easy way in which erratic and complicated things could be given shape and explanation....economics also stresses on the constant movement in the economy which affects the people in the economy....how inflation had to be followed by deflation, how development had to follow recession...

so change is what has happened with me too....i have changed masters, hsbc was a great place to learn and grow, it gave me opportunities which i could never imagine, i reached the highs and the lows of my career with hsbc....but then change being inevitable....i have moved to barclays technology, and hope i can have the same and many more opportunities to learn and grow with barclays too....i am not trying to be politically correct, cause i have already cleared my interviews and have joined the org, its actually what i am looking forward to.... :-))

kab samay badlega....a positive approach

2009-05-07T23:55:00.000-07:00

India's economy, which has been hit harder than expected by the global recession, may be on the path to recovery, some recent data suggests.
Asia's third-largest economy is expected to have grown less than 7 percent in 2008/09, sharply lower than the expansion of 9 percent or in each of the previous three fiscal years, and is poised to expand at the same pace in the fiscal year ending March 2010.
Some analysts say the robust growth in steel and cement sales as well as in manufacturing in recent months showed the worst maybe over for the economy.
The following looks at the growth outlook for the South Asian economy and the pace of its economic recovery.
WHAT EVIDENCE IS THERE THAT WORST MAY BE OVER FOR THE INDIAN ECONOMY?
A slew of data in recent weeks has shown that a tentative recovery is taking shape. The ABN AMRO Bank purchasing managers' index (PMI) based on a survey of 500 companies, rose to 53.3 in April from March's 49.5, climbing above the threshold of 50 that separates expansion from contraction.
This was the first expansion in factory output in five months and showed demand in the economy is returning.
Data also signalled that demand in India's hinterland is firm and is supporting a vast expanse of the economy. Cement sales have grown at near double-digit rates since November, consumer goods sales have seen strong support from rural markets, while auto demand has firmed after a disastrous December quarter.
Wholesale price inflation shows demand has not fallen as anticipated and prices were holding firm.
Industrial output, which accounts for nearly a quarter of India's gross domestic product, has shown signs of revival after a dismal March quarter. January's initially reported fall was revised to a rise of 0.4 percent.
Economists said stimulus packages announced by the government since late last year, along with aggressive policy easing by the central bank, look to be making an impact given improved car sales and uptrend in cement and steel demand.
They also say robust performance of consumer goods and capital goods, a key barometer of activity, in the February industrial output report showed that there is demand.
Analyst say savings and investment rates, which have reached close to 40 percent due to the structural changes in the economy, would enable it to sustain an investment rate of 35 percent despite lower capital inflows.
The main stock index has rebounded more than half from its 2009 trough in early March. Foreigners bought $1.5 billion worth of shares in April and another $296 million on Monday, after heavy outflows in January and February.
WHAT IS THE OUTLOOK FOR GDP GROWTH IN 2009/10?
Domestic ratings agency ICRA says the economy is likely to grow 6.5 to 7.5 percent in 2009/10 if the global economy comes out of the slump later this year and as government stimulus starts feeding into the broader economy.
The central bank has forecast 6 percent expansion in Asia's third-largest economy but private analysts have pegged growth lower than that. Any growth below 6 percent would increase unemployment.
WHAT ARE ANALYSTS SAYING ABOUT ECONOMIC RECOVERY?
Rajeev Malik, economist with Macquarie Securities says the largely domestically driven economy will begin to recover palpably from mid-year onwards. "The double-cyclinder fiscal and monetary response has been aggressive and already paying dividends."
Investment bank UBS said in a research note that its lead economic indicator had climbed for three months in a row which signalled a strong likelihood of an upturn in industrial activity by June.
Robert Prior-Wandesforde, economist at HSBC, wrote in a research report that there were a number of reasons to be positive about India's growth prospects.
"Individually, none of them are hugely powerful, but collectively they should drive a recovery later this year which is likely to gain momentum in 2010."
IS THERE DATA STILL SUGGESTING FURTHER DETERIORATION?
There is still some data which shows that the global slowdown has taken a heavy toll. Exports declined by a third in March to $11.5 billion, its sixth straight monthly fall and economists say the global economic slump would further dent Indian firms' foreign sales in the months ahead.
Consumer prices still remain elevated and the Reserve Bank of India said inflation based on various consumer price indices continues to be near double digits, reflecting a firm trend in food prices.
WHAT ARE THE RISKS AHEAD THAT MAY HURT GROWTH?
Political uncertainty remains a short-term risk.
Emergence of a weak coalition could lead to policy limbo, which in turn may hurt the economy.
The high fiscal deficit of central and state governments, which according to some observers has reached nearly 10 percent of gross domestic product, could prove to be an obstacle to growth and undermine the Reserve Bank's aggressive rate cuts.

Election Day!!!!!,

2009-05-06T23:47:00.000-07:00

i dont know whether 1 vote can make a difference or not but then i did cast my vote

my niece and me outside the polling booth, beating the torturous nagpur heat of 47 C

di, jiju and me....with the ink mark put on the middle finger, it just became a little awkward to show it to the camera

incomplete instructions written on a broken black-board

the names of the candidates who stood for contention, there were all kinds of symbols....tubelight, cake, taps...

the dilapitated state in which votes were being casted

All abt starsss

2009-04-05T04:02:00.001-07:00

**created by the nerd www.rajeshrana.com**

Fools Day a.k.a. My Day

2009-04-01T00:09:00.000-07:00

this morning i received an sms from my friend (sanjiv), wishing me "happy fools day"...ohh that was my reaction to it...so today is 1st april, and the first thought that crosses my mind is that another month has gone by and yes another financial year has started....i wished him back, changed the calander page and got on with my days work....

i later got a call from sanjiv, all excited and telling me how he had smsed to all his friends and the kind of reactions he had received from them....first i felt irritated from the call so early in the morning as i was busy with something, but then i realised what a real fool i really was....
*this guy had called me up from the other end of the country, so early in the morning, on his way to his office
*he wanted to share his childish excitment with me
*to let me part of his world - to know how people in his world reacted to a fools day wish - probably hoping that some of it may get rubbed on to me as well

and yes thanks sanjiv for letting me remember the child inside me - a person who used to plan her fools day prank days in advance, targetting everyone i knew, my family and friends and neighbours, everyone i could set my eyes on.....the 1st of april....my day....just how could i forget - have grown up i guess, just too many useless things have made their home in my head, things i cant get myself to get rid of....and in between all this i seem to have lost my true self....

but thanks again mr.roy for the reminder....after all this day solely belongs to people like me....and yes since u 2 r an important member of the fools paradise....wish u a Very Happy Fools Day 2 :-)) and to the major part of the worlds population....

my new think-pad........HP Pavilion Entertainment PC - DV6500

2009-03-21T10:39:00.001-07:00

The features:

Operating System : Windows Vista Home Premium 32-bit
Processor : Intel(R) Core(TM) 2 Duo processor T7300 (2.00 GHz, 4 MB L2 Cache, 800MHz FSB)
Memory : 2GB DDR2 (2 Dimm)
Display : 15.4″ WXGA High-Definition HP BrightView Widescreen Display (1280 x 800)
Graphics Card : 383MB NVIDIA GeForce 8400M GS with DirectX 10
Networking : Intel(R) PRO/Wireless 4965AGN Network Connection and Bluetooth(TM)
Hard disk : 120GB 5400RPM SATA Hard Drive
DVD Drive : LightScribe SuperMulti 8X DVD+/-RW with Double Layer Support
Battery : High Capacity 6 Cell Lithium Ion Battery

Other features :

HP Imprint (Radiance)
Fingerprint Reader,
Webcam,
Microphone ,
Remote Control.

Slots, Pins and other features on the Left Side:
Security cable Slot,
S-Video-out jack,
External Monitor Port,
Expansion Port 3,
RJ-45 (network) jack,
RJ-11 (modem) jack,
HDMI port,
2 USB port,
1394 port,
Digital Media Slot.

Slots, Pins and other features on the Right Side:
Express Card Slot,
Optical Drive,
USB Port,
Power Connector.

Slots, Pins and other features on the Front Side:
Power light,
Battery light,
Drive light,
Wireless Switch,
Wireless light,
Consumer infrared lens,
Audio-in (microphone) jack,
2 Audio-out (headphone) jack.

Windows Experience Index:
All the subscore including gaming graphics are above 4.3 but the graphics score for Windows Aero is only 3.2 and so the Base Score of Windows Experience Index is 3.2. Here is the list of subscore for all different parameters.
Processor (4.9) : Calculations per second
Memory RAM (4.8) : Memory operations per second
Graphics (3.2) : Desktop performance for Windows Aero
Gaming Graphics (4.3) : 3D business and gaming graphics performance
Primary Hard Disk (4.6) : Disk data rate transfer

in other words its just too good......

Chivalry and Men

2009-03-15T03:52:00.000-07:00

Chivalry - the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms....that's how the oxford dictionary describes it.

But then my guess is that the existence of this word is best left for usage in romantic novels or medieval age literature, cause today's male world has long back forgotten its meaning or usage.
Then some might argue about the new-age woman demanding equal rights, working hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder with her male counter-parts, not bowing against the age-old ideologies, making her own-way, leaving a mark in every field....why does she ask or look out for chivalry or valor from the other half or in case of India for the other 53% of the population.

Well valor is not something women look out for in all men, for she understands that she is the one who wanted to break out of those old shackles, she is the one who wanted to be brave enough to fight her own wars, to voice out her opinion about what she felt wrong, to understand the difference.....but then women will be women, she expects not all but only a few around her, with whom she spends or desires to spend her magnificent life with, to be kind, generous, understanding and caring....
she does not want her guy-friends (with whom she might have spent hours at the chai-adda, pulling each-others legs,laughing at stupid jokes,making plans for the next holiday trip) to be chivalric with her, nor does she expect her male colleagues (with whom she is at swords edge for the next promotion, the next project, the next presentation) to be chivalric with her.....though if they are then its good for then as it just goes to show good grooming and mannerisms :-))

So i write on this issue as i was witness to one such very rude, non-chivalric situation recently.....i had travelled 300km by road,with my family, to meet up with a guy as is so common in an arranged marriage scenario in India.....well as i am not a big rope-in on looks or money i shall leave all that aside, but what struck was the so non-chivalric behaviour of this guy(let me call him X), just to jot down a few....
*after the initial introduction X simply called up room-service and asked for 5 cups of tea, sorry, dude there r 4 other people whose drinking taste u don't know about, ever heard of asking people first, at this i asked X to cancel 1 tea as i do not drink tea, at this he tells me to take a sip and leave the rest, sorry again.....but then i forget about it....probably he is nervous
*we walk down to pizza-hut to catch a bite as their is no other eating joint in that area, we call for pizzas and when the bill arrives, X simply looks the other way, dude it is we who have travelled all the way and ideally we r your guests, ever heard of treating your guests out, OK i understand, Indian marriages where the girls family takes the bull-shit onus for meeting all expenses, but then at least pretend to try and pay the bill, pathetic.
*then my parents leave us alone in his hotel suite for the famous 5 min. chat after which u decide that whether u want to spend the rest of your life with the said person :-)), well i take a seat on the sofa, all dressed up in salwaar-kameez, heels, well-shampooed hair....all of it making me quite uncomfortable, X is sitting on the bed, my bro had left the door ajar....as soon i get settled down, X asks me to close the door, SORRY so sorry, did i hear u right, u r asking me to close the door, a woman who has come to meet her proposed groom...while u sit on the bed....dude i am through with u

...mmmmm if u think of it, it was not that big a deal, people may or may not want to drink tea, people eat out at pizza-hut and one of them pays the bill, whosoever might close the door to the room....who cares....true who cares, but then we care when the person doing such non-chivalric person is the person with whom u r expected to marry (marriage being the most loved, adored and cherished institution in this world)

I pray god to take away barbarism, terrorism, evil, cannibalism, etc from this world but never take away chivalry, valor, charisma....because then the world would become really not a great place to be.....women will be women, after all aren't we the extraordinary species from Venus :-))

तूफान

2009-03-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

ज़िन्दगी में कभी न कभी तूफान को तो आना है
तूफ़ान का आना तो एक बहाना है
ज़िन्दगी को हमें सबक सिखलाना है
रास्ते हमेशा आसा नहीं होतें
ज़िन्दगी हमेशा महेरबा नहीं होती

हां मायूसी छाती है
उदासी घेर लेती है
फिर दिल को समझाती हूँ
की अगर ज़िन्दगी की जंग मुश्किल हुई तो क्या
की अगर कदम डग-मगाए तो क्या

ज़िन्दगी की असली उड़न अभी बाकि है
ज़िन्दगी के कई इम्तेहान अभी बाकि है
अभी तो नापी है मुट्ठी भर ज़मीन
अभी तो सारा आसमान बाकि है

I used to think that I could not go on
That life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
By leaning on the ever lasting arms

If I can see it
Then I can do it
If I just believe it
There's nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly.....

To Dad-Mom with Love

2009-02-26T20:54:00.000-08:00

आप अपने माँ-बाप से कितना प्यार करतें हैं???

I am not much of a party person, but then some invitations are really difficult to turn-down.....u know those stupid society talks, smile when u dont want to, listen to all the garbage people have to say, etc, etc....but then as i said earlier sometimes somethings are inevitable....so the other day i had gone out for a dinner with 6 other people.
it all started out with the usual....so whats new going on, then we touched on the latest fad "slumdog millionaire", politics, fashion, how abhishekh looked the total loser in his latest flick, plans on seeing ash in the pink panther....and then as usual the talk turned about things on the personal front...i was casually chatting with my neighbour, a seemingly successful guy, good to work with and talk to, happily married or single i dont know nor do i care, but then i respect him for his sharp wit and alertness on the job front......
when suddenly he says "my life has become hell at home because of my parents"....
all i say to this is "sorry", casuse i'm not sure that i am the right person to whom such talk should be directed towards.
then this guy tells him how his parents interfere in his decisions, they have a problem with his friends, his going home late at night after the parties, him talking to his girlfriend, what he buys, his savings, practically about everything....i tell him that probably he is going wrong somewhere and he should listen to their advice, afterall they are more experienced in life and shall always think of his good.
that was something he was not hoping to hear from me, he pulled back his chair and told me things, things i felt ashamed to hear coming out from an educated guy, belonging to the affluent society, etc.....he told me
* that his parents were his biggest liability
* he was planning to dump them in an old-age home before his marriage
* how they had been unable to leave him a good fortune
* why they didnt leave him alone
* how irritating it was to have old people around him
* how he felt ashamed to walk with them in the market

i was practically left speechless, i rather wanted to slap him right across his face, and tell him what an un-grateful b*****d he was, disowning his own parents who had probably remained hungry so that he could eat and enjoy the worldly pleasures, who had sacrificed their own happiness and probably their souls so that he could be happy and after doing so much is this what they deserve.....but before i could say anything, before i could overcome my saddness and grief i was surprised to hear more people voicing the same feelings....i was left speechless and felt unable to share the table with such people, i excused myself and left early...

on my way home i was thinking to myself...
how can one stop loving your parents, they r not things to be used and thrown away later, our parents are who we r
.......i dont know if i can write it all down what i felt on the 20min. ride back to home....on reaching home i gave a call to my dad and told him about the entire incident, papa had probably understood that i was hurt by the happenings of the evening and explained to me how the people in our society had changed to become more selfish and self-centred, losing respect for their elders, their own parents, how things would become worse.....but i should never doubt it once that he shall always be there for me even-when i shall turn my back to him.....that phrase bought me to tears and i told him how could he even think that i would ever do such a thing to him or mom or to my future family....he then consoled me and told me to be happy and not get pulled into the dirty society where everything that shines is not always gold....
yes dad i understand that even better now....i remembered a line i had read somewhere long back, "parents are someone we never get back once we loose them" and yet people fail to appreciate the biggest treasure they have, aern't the social animals the biggest bunch of losers...

pa-ma this is for u..

याद है मुझे वोह बचपन
याद है मुझे वोह मेरे रूठना और आपका मनाना
याद है मुझे वोह आपका रोज सुबह मुझे नींद से जगाना
और रात को लोरी गा के सुलाना

याद है मुझे माँ का मेरे लिए तोहफा खरीदना
और खुद के लिए कुछ लेना भूल जाना
याद है मुझे वोह हसी और खिल-खिलाना
आप की गोद में सर रख कर सो जाना

याद है मुझे आपका डाटना
सही और गलत का ज्ञान बाटना

i know people say i have grown up
but i love u none the same
i want u to be there, to be my strength and my guiding light
to let me know the right from the wrong
i want u to be there to hear the voice which comes out from the depth of my soul
that i love u mom and dad
i might not say it that often, but then everything needn't be said all the time....

For whose "Namesake"

2009-02-21T00:09:00.001-08:00

The Namesake.....one movie i had failed to see a long time back, but which i finally did....but then felt that it had nothing new or great about it, it was the same old...old parents, lots of hopes from their son, son ditches them-goes away with firangi, parents sad all the time-miss him a lot, dad dies, son finally realises he was wrong in what he did, comes back to his family....

the same story repeats itself......why do people have to die or go away so that people can realize what they had meant to them, why do people miss others only when they know that its no way that those lost shall ever come back, why does one wait for so long that when u finally realise that u were wrong, theres no one left to listen to your "sorry".

i think that we live in a great world, fortunate enough to be humans, fortunate enough to have family and friends, people who really matter to us.....and then with time and circumstances we are torn apart from our loved ones, live in different cities so far away, takes 2-3 days to reach by train, and the distance is further stretched because we fail to make a simple phone call just to say Hi!! to people who really matter, to say i miss u, i love u.....to just listen to the voice of people who really matter.
but then its not only people who r far away, it also applies to people who r near u, we argue, have cold wars....but why??? r arguments a part of todays life, probably a way to vent out our so called frustrations due to the modern life-style, or probably its just become a style quotient.....whatever, but its very true that we argue, have cold wars....and so often fail to say the one golden word "sorry", just patch up, share a smile, kiss and make up....

imagine a scenario that u had a big argument with someone u love and u rush out of home without saying a word, cursing the other and going away.....by evening when u r no longer angry, realise that the argument was useless and pointless, which could be easily avoided, and r on your way home to say sorry with a smile on your face....u r about to enter the house, u see an ambulance outside, and r informed that the other person had a major accident and could not be saved.......what then.....whom do u say sorry to, do u blame yourself for everything.....what do u do then
"शायद यही प्रॉब्लम है, जो पास है उसे हम नही पहचानते
और जब वोह दूर हो जाए तो उसे भुला नही पाते"

" 100th post "

2009-02-18T22:26:00.000-08:00

today i feel proud......proud that i have suceeded in writing 100 articles, which as my blog heading says, "comes right from the heart".
a journey which started on sep'05, thanks to my nerd friend rajesh, has many miles to go, i have no doubt about it....i started writing when i was in college and today as things have changed very much, i feel proud again that the nidhi who started writing here is still the same grounded and overtly emotional person she was....hahaha

Today i also want to write about something new....i recently saw Dasvidania (an amazing movie it was), and being inspired by it i want to write down somethings i want to do before i die....and what i write today, i want to compare them with what i shall feel about the same probably 10, 20 and 50 years after.....though i hope to achieve most of what i write today....

* i want to travel the world, first i shall try to conquer India and then voyage beyond,my first stop being Venice my love
* i want to work in a BPO.....call it the after effects of watching salmans Hello or reading chetan bhagats, one night at a call centre.....i want to experience that life once
* i want to learn the guitar, its been 5 yrs now that i have it with me, gifted by jiju on my b'day, but never found the time or probably the dedication to learn it
* i want to open an NGO, to be able to contribute to the development of the society
* i want to go scuba-diving, bungy-jumping, para-gliding, white water river-rafting and other kind of crazy adventure sports
* i want to always be there for my family and friends, never let them down when they need me, make my family proud of me, love and respect them always
* i want to fall in love with someone, very deeply and passionately, a love which shall stand the test of time and all good and bad which come along the way
* i want to die not very old and in the arms of the man i love!!
* i want to write a book

thats all which comes to mind.....but am leaving an open-ended list, to be able to add on as thoughts come up.

My Tribute this Valentine

2009-02-13T20:46:00.000-08:00

26 and counting....Happy Valentine Day

2009-02-13T04:32:00.000-08:00

its again that time of the year, when roses are exchanged, ones love towards the other is proclaimed, framed and presented - to be accepted or not is a different issue all-together, when hard-liners get to the streets, causing a nuisance for all, yet unable to stop the flow of love in the air....

on this day love is everywhere - radio, television, newspapers, chaiwalas, puchkawalas, abandoned buildings, sea-shores, hotels, dhabas.....everywhere.....so why take the trouble at all to subside it, isnt india the home of kahjuraho and ajanta-ellora, aernt we proud of the kamasutra, a country so rich and vocal on issues like love and sex....why take the banner and shame ourselves of the present, past and the future to come....

anyways unfortunately this 14th is like any other 14th of the year for me.....with no one to call me, no sms, no flowers, no dinners, no gifts, nothing.....cause i havent found the right guy who would do all the above for me.....its not that i am desperate for any of it, with roughly another 70 odd years left of my life, i am waiting for the guy who would do the above for me atleast 70 times and may the tradition never change hands

so as i proclaim to be a happy single(waiting for the right guy ofcourse-to be my valentine for the next 70 years), wishing all the lucky ones "A very Happy Valentine day"

ऐसा लगता है की तुम कहीं तो हो
भले ही दूर हो अभी मगर
कभी तो पास होगे मेरे
दिल का दरवाज़ा खुला रखा है मैंने
दबे पैर ही सही कभी चले आना
चुपके से आके इस दिल में बॉस जाना
७० साल का सफर पुरा करना है हमे
धैर्य से, आराम से, तुम चले आना
दिल का दरवाज़ा खुला रखा है मैंने
धीरे से आके तुम इस दिल में बस जाना

P.S. I Love You

2009-01-26T20:36:00.000-08:00

yeah i know the three magical words everyone wants to hear....but right now am talking about the book by Cecilia Ahern...

well this is probably the best book written on love (i guess i can make such a stat. as have read quite a few books to be able to tell the best from the good)...and yeah the book is so well written that the author actually takes u on a ride with her..i ended up laughing, crying, longing, nervous, sad, releived, cold, desperate...all of those along with Holly(the main lead).....i would be lying if i said that i did not get a headache after reading the book, well i was on journey of a woman which spanned over 30yrs of her life and i rushed through it in about 7 hrs...i should have seen it coming...so u see that the book is just so well written that once u start u kind of get hooked on to it..

to quote something from the book "some people travel their whole lifes hoping to find their soul mates, and never find one, some find their soul mates but end up losing them too early to death"....is it fair

just thinking of it....u love someone very dearly, they r u, u see nothing beyond or above them, your whole live revolves around them....and suddenly that person is no longer with u, how do u deal with it, do u buy a reference book for widows, when do u open the ring from your finger, when do start smiling again, when do start going out-not being reminded of what earlier was, when do u get over it and move on....and yes what exactly does moving-on mean....

anyways the book acts as a mantra for people who sadly r facing the same or similar situation, and even for those who fear that something like it might happen to them in the future....or even for those who might want to take it as a learning....for u never know when u might end up losing the most precious thing in your life, so just go ahead and love with your whole heart, for u might not get a second chance....

ना जाने ...

2009-01-12T23:53:00.000-08:00

ना जाने किस की तलाश, ना जाने किस की आस
ना जाने कौन, ना जाने कहाँ
ना जाने किस ओर, ना जाने किस मोर
ना जाने कब
ना जाने ...

ना जाने यह तलाश जायज़ भी है या नही
क्यूँ धुंध रही है तुझे यह नज़र, हर जगह हर किसी में
क्यूँ मैं पार नही देख पति किसी के
क्यूँ तलशती रहती है यह नाज़र हर जगह, हर किसी में
सिर्फ़ ओर सिर्फ़ तुझे....

कौन हो तुम मेरे
यह मुझे क्यों पता नही
शायद तुम ही हो, जो बसे हो मेरे दिलो-जिगर में

तुम हो कौन...एक आस, अहसास, या सिर्फ़ मेरा वहम
ना जाने, ना जाने....

my colleague Puja told me that i always hum this song when i am deep in my thoughts or am doing some work, or whenever i get time....and that is done quite unknowingly by me....so thought of putting in with this post.

chaand ke paar..

2009-01-11T03:42:00.001-08:00

chalo dil dar chalo
chand ke paar chalo
little must have the poet understood the meaning this word has in todays world...

i was star-gazing yesterday (my favourite hobby)when i had this thought that is it not possible that some other being in some other planet or universe might be having the same hobby, and doing the exactly samething right now...impossible, i dont think so...

this led me to reading some stuff on the net about parallel universe, multiverse, albert einstien's theory of everything, string theory, the big bang theory, super gravity, how we actually live in a three dimentional world - but then string theory says there are actually 10 dimentions and later super gravity says there are 11 dimentions (time being one dimention - leading to parallel universe concept)..and how quantum physicsts have been trying to prove the same for a long time now...wow!!! ain't there so much more going around in this world and beyond....

there are actually many parts to this bbc made you-tube documentry about parallel universe, but this part is the best one...

anyways have read too much on this topic, now its time to go back to my star-gazing, but this time will make it a point to wave back, who knows someone out there might be watching down on me...

Ghajini.....4 a happy new year

2009-01-06T09:06:00.000-08:00

ghajini is probably one of the best movies made in recent times....a true balance of innocent love, the revenge of a lover who has lost his beloved, the struggles of a fighter (aamir actually rises from the dead), the fall of evil.....another example of aamir khans midas touch....yes, he has struck gold again...

the best scene i guess is when aamir is tied to a chair with ropes and he frees himself from it (brings back memories of HULK)....eight pack abs yes....its a reality....bye, bye six packs.....and the most touching scene, when "kalpana" sells her ambassador to give aamir financial support....totally unexpected and totally touching...

(kab mujhe tum milo ge)

the movie was great, but the realisation was greater....sipping a cup of coffee after the movie i wondered, how would it feel to find true love, to love someone so bad that you can not see anything beyond, before or after....that u feel the luckiest in the world....love pure love.....and then you loose it.....ohh, i am not ashamed to write that i cried really bad when aamir cries out for her, yes the heart-break of losing someone...
so was he wrong in avenging his love....NO, no ,no.....probably i would have done the same thing, probably anyone would do the same thing....but then again isn't real life diffrent from reel life.....sad

a beautiful poem

2009-01-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

सही है कि तुम चले गये, दूर अब मुझसे हो गये
इतने वक़्त से भी कहाँ करीब थे, पर अब फाँसले सदा के लिए हो गये
बात करने का तुमसे मन नहीं, कोई जवाब तुम्हारे खयाल का देना नहीं
ना तुमसे कोई रिश्ता, ना अब कोई और चाह रही
काश की तुम बीते दिनों से भी मिट जाओ, तुम्हारी यादें इस कोहरे में कहीं गुम जायें
काश कि तुम्हारा नाम मुझे फिर याद न आये, ये याद रहे कि तुम मेरे कोई नहीं
जो हो तुम मेरे कोई नहीं तो फिर भी क्यूं याद करती हूँ ये कह कर कि तुम मेरे 'कोई नही'
चले जाओ तुम मेरे शब्दों से, ख्यालों से, इस वक्ये के बाद तो तुम जा चुके हो मेरे सपनों से भी
नाम लेते ही साँसों में अब भी हलचल सी क्यूँ होती है
क्यूँ किसी बात की आशा अब भी रहती है
हाथों से तुम्हें छिटकना चाहती हूँ फिर भी एहसास छूटता क्यूँ नहीं
चलते हुये गिरती हूँ तो आज भी क्यूँ तुम्हारा हाथ बढा देना याद आता है
ये दिन - यह वाक्या बीता है तो फिर इसी तरह ज़िन्दगी आगे भी बढ जायेगी
तुम्हारा तो पता नहीं, मुझे 'बूढे हो जाने पर ये-वो होगा' - वाली बातें याद आयेगीं
चाहती हूँ इस सबके बाद भी तुमसे कभी मुलाकात ना हो
सामना करने की हिम्मत जो खो बैठी हूँ
सूरत-सीरत, अन्दाज़ और तलफ्फुज़् सब बदल गये हैं
बहुत डर लगता है अपने इस बद्ले हुए रूप से
काफी चीज़े छोड आयीं हूँ पीछे
वो तभी के लिये सही थी
अब तो उन्हें साथ लिये ज़िन्दगी जीना भी कठिन है
खुश रहो तुम सदा, बहुत बडे बनो
ज़िन्दगी का हर मकाम तुम्हें हासिल हो, ये तमन्ना है मेरी
बस तुमसे सामना ना हो फिर कभी, ये ख्वाहिश बाकी रहेगी

poem taken from rohits blog.....truly heart touching

rOcK oN......follow my dreams!!!

2008-12-23T02:55:00.000-08:00

recent obcession with this song....really rocking

Tum ho toh, gata hai dil
Tum nahin, toh geet kahan
Tum ho toh, hai sab hasil
Tum nahin, toh kya hai yahan
Tum ho toh hai, sapno ke jaisa hasin
Ek samaa
Jo tum ho toh, yeh lagtha hai
Ke mil gayi har khushi
Jo tum na ho, yeh lagtha hai
Ke har khushi mein hai kami
Tumko hai mangthi
Yeh zindagii…

Why am i still Single???

2008-12-22T02:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i had gone for a get-together when this lady i know walked up to me and asked me why was i there alone....are you still single???

I reverted by saying that i love being single......

and i know thats not the truth, i dont like being single, i dont like making a stag entry where-ever i go......i would love to have that someone special with whom i could share my innermost secrets, my ideas, my plans, my love and passion, hold hands and walk down the road feeling safe and loved, share my cup of cappucino with, go for long walks and see the sun set in the far west, spend starry nights with on a tree house in the shiwalik mountains (rahul bose...mr.iyer in mr and mrs iyer....that kind of a guy), etc, etc.....

but then why am i still single....sochna padega

well i have met many guys along the way, both personally and professionally, and the major turn-offs have been

- smoking (a totallly NO NO)
- drinking (somehow i cant come to terms with it)
- panmasala/gutka eating guys (yukkk)
- smelly feet and arm-pits
- people who try being too sweet
- cracking silly jokes
- show offs
- wandering eyes
- bla bla in english

so you see archana i am still single because unfortunately i have not yet met a guy who has passed my filtration test....hahaha, quite funny when u come to think of it, seems i am looking for a robot rather than a man....the perfect man, if at all he exists.....but as was said in the movie....Koi na koi, kahin na kahin, sabke liye bana hai, bus use khojne ki der hai.....Hopes Galore!!!!

"GOA" to Venice

2008-12-07T22:10:00.000-08:00

i was in goa in july, i know wrong season, but then the company perks do not see the season......i had an amazing time in goa, and now other than going to Venice, i want to go to Goa once more, but obviously not alone

i took a lot of pics there, with my nokia6233.....

helloji!!!

first sight, ariel view, i know its not allowed, but couldnt resist

twin bridges....i took them to go to panaji

catching sea gulls at 6 in the morning was an amazing experience

of course Nidhi loved Goa!!!!!

food at the Marriot was really good.....thanks hsbc, a 5star deluxe room all by myself was really rocking

i want one of those one day....and then i will venture out in the sea and have my own stories to tell people

the ocean of course is nice, but then as is a common occurence in India, people love to dirty the beach, like all public places, yet the massive strength of the ocean cannot be negated at any point

my cruise....the Paradise....funny that my bro was also on the same cruise when he had gone for his honeymoon to goa

the early morning breeze, oh its awesome, when u r alone on the beach, the breeze is so pure it actually touched my soul

i was up early and decided to take a walk on the beach, i was a good 1km into the beach, when i clicked this photo, the weather suddenly changed and a really strong breeze started blowing...i saw that it had started raining very heavinly a long distance into the ocean, it was then that i clicked the photo, feeling fortunate to have seen this natuaral phenomenon.....when suddenly i realised that the rain was actually coming towards me, the wind had actually started howling in my ears, the water had started covering the beach....and then i ran, as i had never run before, i was still about half a km away from the beach stairs when the rain hit me....no it was not rain for i had not witnessed anything like it before, the rain drops were really large and they fell on me with such force that it felt like stones being pelted on me, the wind had become so strong that i felt like it would carry me away, i could not see anything in front of me.....the rain, wind, the darkness due to the black clouds and me running.....i just kept telling myself, dont stop, just run....after running for quite sometime i reached the stairs to the beach, totally drenched and beaten by the rain.......

about 5 min after i reached the beach stairs

the entire beach range of around 1.5km was covered with angry ocean water....what if i had not run that fast.....hahaha......Goa would then have become really memorable :-))

the Marriot

goodies sent by the chef.....a relative of a colleague

Adieu my Monsoon love, dont miss me for i shall come back!!!!

but then as they saw u never forget your first love....Venice, i will be there soon

Office Life its Always the Same

2008-12-06T00:43:00.000-08:00

I got this mail from a friend, describing his office life, but for the records its the same for me also....and guess for everyone :-))

Every day is exactly the same

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

Shoes or Feet

2008-12-04T23:18:00.000-08:00

SCHOOL........my sis is a teacher, so she keeps sharing a lot of her experiences with me, about children, about studies, their new ways, their toys and gadgets, the change in the school enviornment....lots of stuff.

All that discussion made me think about my school days.......and i realised there was nothing much that i could cherish or remember....the subjects were always too foreign for me, i never really understood biology, chemistry, physics...in these classes i felt as if i was sitting in between aliens, listening to them talking in an alien language...

its just one memory which is very clear in my mind, the stair-case to my class-room had one saying written in bold, green letters...."I CRIED FOR A PAIR OF NEW SHOES, UNTIL I MET A MAN WHO HAD NO FEET"........and i very clearly remember asking my dad what it meant, because that statement had somehow struck a cord in me.....new shoes, no feet

I guess i had this spark of being humane, grounded, thinking differently, being nice, think beyond "me", a long time back and ofcourse thanks to papa for not scolding me that day for getting really bad marks in geography, rather explaining to me the more important fact about life....be satisfied, be happy with what u have......because there are millions who have nothing even close to what u have.....

and yes thats the only memory i have with me of school, something which i have cherished.

"Happy Valentine Day"

2008-02-14T02:56:00.000-08:00

Dear all singles and Dear all couples.........

dil ki yeh aarzoo hai
ki pyar ka yeh saama yuhin chalta rahe,
jo aakle hain unhe bhi koi hamsafar mile,
jo saath hain unka pyaar bana rahe

"Taare Zameen Pe"

2008-02-04T00:39:00.000-08:00

Thank you Aamir Khan, your movie was an eye-opener for many and a lesson for all.

As a teenager I had a dream of doing things differently, I never wanted to get into the 9-5 shift, money and lots of it was not something i ever aspired to have, no bosses no subordinates, no aspirations to make it big in the corporate world………I had different dreams………I dreamt of doing social-service, of leading a simple life, of running an orphanage or old-age home, of helping those who had no one and no where to go…………I dreamt different dreams.

But then I lost my way…..an mba degree, job with a multi-national, bosses above and subordinates below me, bank balance, investments, future planning, corporate games, meetings……..I totally lost my way.

Watching Taare Zameen Pe, helped me realize that I had gone wrong, that this life is not what I had planned for, that the dreams I had seen of changing the world had become dreams in their true sense………I have become like others……..I was unable to change the system, because the system has changed me.

I asked myself, can I go back, I still have time on my side, I can still do what I wanted to…….but the answer that came from within was frightening………can I leave all that I have been able to achieve so far, my status in society, my place in the corporate world, my bank bal, the future I can have if I keep going the way I am right now………I don’t know……….but I want to……….I want to make things different……..not for others but ME.

a day in the life of a "Republic" Indian

2008-01-26T21:41:00.000-08:00

It had been some time since i saw the republic day parade on tv, and yesterday i did so......and to tell teh truth was dissappointed......the ceremony started with a stone -faced president giving out awards of bravery....all posthomus awards, received by old parents or widowed wifes of the dead, not a single person living received any award.........meaning you have to die to prove your allegience to the country and the flag, then followed the parade and i grew in awe of the uniform the power the everything........

swapped channels and a Bhagat Singh movie was showing, with ajay Devgan playing bhagat singh to such accuracy and more, that probably bhagat singh might feel the complex......so a martyr lays his life for the nation and everyone remembers him down 20 generations.......great and hats off.

swap channel and they r showing "the day after tomorrow"....the world is coming to an end as due to global temperature changes there is a complete unbalance and ice age is back again, but humanity being the strugglers that we are, has survived despite all odds....

another channel and they r showing a really stupid movie of a museum which comes to life at night and there is this really courageous night watchman who takes things into control overcoming crazy huns, wild monkeys, dinosorous, thieves.......wow....how exciting it must be be in power, facing all odds, becoming the hero...despite being so low down the order.

and finally it was toon time, shinchan, doremon, tom and jerry, popeye.......hahahaha, thats all u need to do, dont think dont ask dont comment, just watch and forget, all the depression, the thoughts, the answer searching comes to an end, all that remains is laughter, small talk, fussy comments and a nice way to end the day and sleep happy.

"Wandering Rare Coin"

2008-01-09T21:58:00.000-08:00

......ok.......

Professionally -i am stranded in a job, which i no longer like, the work pressure is too much, a lot of responsibilities (quite uncalled for), no promotion or raise, just incentives like peanuts, a lot of people to answer to, but not getting any answers for the questions i ask
Personally - my life is not going anywhere, its the same routine i am following day-in and day-out, i get up, do some exercise, freshen up, take the same road for work, drive in the rather dificult traffic, the same work for 12 hrs, go back home, have dinner and sleep

Great......Simply great.....

Probably i am exaggerating a bit..........let me try being positive......

"I am working with my dream brand, am getting recognition for my work, salary is good enough to have a decent life-style, i have good colleagues, nice work place, no personal problems with anyone at office.........I am having great food at home, spending time with Puchku is real fun, watching cartoon with her, playing all those silly games-makes me feel so child-like, i have a big, comfortable room to myself, i drive my own vehicle, have the freedom to go anywhere and everywhere...."

So I think i am doing pretty well.....Its all up to me to, as to which side of the coin i want to see......and ofcourse i hope to stick to the latter one.

just found something...

2008-01-08T04:19:00.000-08:00

so simple and down to earth.....but so true

Tum Se Hi....obsessed with this song

2008-01-05T01:37:00.000-08:00

Na hai yeh pana,Na Khona hi hai
Tera Na hona jane,Kyun hona hi hai

Tum se hi din hota hai,Surmaiye shaam aati
Tumse hi tumse hi,Har ghadi saans aati hai
Zindagi kehlati hai,Tumse hi tumse hi

Na hai yeh pana,Na Khona hi hai
Tera Na hona jan,Kyun hona hi hai

Aankhon mein ankhne teri,Bahoon mein baahein teri
Mera na mujhe mein kuch raha hua kya
Baaton mein baatein teri,Raatein saugatein teri
Kyun tera sab yeh ho gaya hua kya
Mein kahin bhi jata hoon,Tumse hi mil jata hoon
Tumse hi tumse hi

Shoor mein khamoshi hai
Thodi se Behoshi hai
Tum se hi tum se hi

Aadha sa wada kabhi,Aadhe se jayada kabhi
Jee chahe karlu is trah wafa ka
Chode na chote kabhi,Tode na tute kabhi
Jo dhaga tumse jud gaya wafa ka

Mein Tera sharmaya hoon,Jo mein ban paya hoon
Tumse hi tumse hi,Raste miljate hai
Manzile miljati hai,Tumse hi tumse hi

Na hai yeh pana,Na Khona hi hai
Tera Na hona jane,Kyun hona hi hai

Jab "we" Met

2008-01-05T01:30:00.000-08:00

I seriously thought that such fultoo time pass movies were no longer made..........but this movie is 200% fun.......and the song tum se hi is mind blowing...

Aditya Kashyap (Shahid Kapoor), a demoralized industrialist, gets even more depressed after attending the marriage of the girl he loves the most. Feeling ashamed to face the world, he walks out of the marriage gathering and boards a train in the night. Over there, he meets Geet Dhillon (Kareena Kapoor), a beautiful talkative girl who is leaving Mumbai to go to her hometown - Bhatinda (Punjab).

In the beginning, Geet irritates Aditya to a large extent and every meeting becomes mental torture for him. She discloses big plans to him of eloping with her boyfriend Anshuman (Tarun Arora) as she fears resentment from her parents. Geet irritates Aditya to the point of getting him to leave the train. As she tries to get him back on the train, she ends up missing it and the two find themselves stranded on a desolate station with no luggage or money. Geet confronts Aditya and tells him that he is now responsible of reaching her safely to her house in Punjab. Both of them begin an idyllic journey through the exuberant North Indian heartland, and make their way through buses, taxis and camel-carts to reach her house.On arrival, Geet's family (Pawan Malhotra, Dara Singh and Kiran Juneja) mistakens the two for lovers. Before this misconception can be cleared, Geet escapes to her boyfriend in Manali. Aditya leaves with her, confirming the suspicion that they are lovers. In Manali, Aditya feels empowered to return to Mumbai and resurrect his ailing business.

Destiny despises Geet's love story as Anshuman avoids and dumps her. On the other hand, Aditya begins to do well in life after he resurrects his failing business empire. One day, Geet's family, who think that she is with him, confronts Aditya. He is shocked to learn that Geet has not returned home. He takes it upon himself to find her and tells her family that he will bring her home in ten days.

Aditya finally tracks her down in a Himalayan town and is traumatized to learn about Geet's misfortune. Consoling her to face the circumstances, he manages in patching up the relationship of Geet and Anshuman, and they decide to travel back to Bhatinda. Back in Bhatinda, Geet's family again mistaken the two for lovers. Trying to clear the misconception, situations make Geet realise that she is in love with Aditya not Anshuman, and therefore they get married.

Dislike with Respect

2008-01-04T03:19:00.000-08:00

I am a self-proclaimed difficult person, i have issues like........if i dont like someone...i just dont like them, i dont abide by anything i think is wrong, i dont give plastic smiles, i dont talk to someone just for the sake of doing so.....there is a long list of things i dont like and do.....

Following on the same lines.....i had taken a strong dislike for one of my junior colleagues.....it actually were a lot of personal and professional reasons which cumulated to this wall i had made against her.....

then one day a colleague of mine pointed the fact that i had actually been really rude to her on many occassions....."rude" thats something i dont identify at all with.....but then it was probably true, i might have crossed the line...
she told me that the junior colleague was living a very difficult life with a sal of say 10k and because of a major financial crunch at home she was sending 7k home every month, living a very plain life, avoidig socialising to save on money, etc.....ZAPP!!!

I was completely zapped and dumb-found, so much of hard-ship at such an early age and that too with so much courage to face it head-on.......i cannot empathize with her nor will i sympathise, to make her feel weak, but i now respect her, more than i did.....more than i will ever do.....

but one thing i want to ask myself why was a reason required to change my attitude towards her, why couldnt i put a cap to my emotions beforehand....i dont know

But the fact also remains that I may not like her, but i do respect her.........I think it is possible - not to like someone yet respect them for who they are and what they do!!!!!!!!!!

Ner Year Resolutios

2008-01-02T05:07:00.001-08:00

welll

am still to decide on that

Corruption......and Me

2008-01-01T20:49:00.000-08:00

Well I drive an Activa to office daily..........and can be rated as one of the safest drivers on road......as i abide by all traffic rules, wear a helmet, never break a signal, no rage driving, no of anything on the road.....i have never crossed the 40km/hr mark....

So much so that my sis compares my driving to Fardeen Khan's driving in Hey Baby.....
Funny I know......but then despite all this something absurd happened yesterday...

I was returning home from off at 8 in the evening and was hardly a km away when this cop comes and stops me.....i am a bit surprised as it was the last thing i expected on the eve of a new year....

"he came and charged me of breaking a signal, well i was surprised, moreso because i had just got down from the flyover which is 2 km long and has no signals, i try to tell him that i was not the person because of obvious reasons, the cop tells me that he saw a person wearing a helmet and black jacket break the signal......well i was dumb struck, as this kind of thing happened with me for the first time, the cop noted down my vehicle noand threatned me that i will have to come to court to prove my innocence.....well after that i had nothing to say.....i was just waiting for him to take further action when he suggests that i can dissolve the issue right now by giving him some money...........at this point i was totally pissed off, i told him, and these were the exact words "bhad mein jaao tum, aab to yeeh issue court mein hi solve karungi"...........i know it was a rash decision, but thats what happened

my guess is that....the cop was looking to make some money, he stopped me thinking i was some guy as i was wearing sneakers,jeans, had pulled up the hood of my wind-sheater and was wearing my helmet, he was first surprised to see a girl inside, then he realised that he could harass a girl easier and get out some money out of me.....

though no real harm done, but it spoiled my mood really bad, the cop now has my vehicle no and i am just praying that he does not stop me some any day and pull me to court.....BECAUSE I WAS NOT AT FAULT.

"Zee Aaj Star"

2007-11-19T21:40:00.000-08:00

Lately have decided to watch at least an hour of news to keep myself updated about the worldly matters....and must confess that news channels have left behind all the other channels when it comes to entertainment...

while watching the major 3 news channels consecutively i was witness to something i found very...now whats the word for it...

1st channel was claming that the exact date of Lord Rams birth and his crowning as king, the Lanka destruction and Lord Rams return to Ayodhya all have been deduced.....and it happened at around 5000BC....wow i thought, we can now celebrate lord rams birthday....and cut a cake, throw a party.....

2nd channel had something quite different.....it was hosting a show on the evil spirits and how a particular spirit of some king had been haunting a particular village for ages.....and not only villages the presence of spirits is also experienced in towns with educated people flocking to the babas to get rid of the bad spirits....and much more

3rd channel had something to show about how the scientists have predicted that by 2030 the world will come to an end, namely Pralay, because of the global warming and the constant rise in the earths temperature, etc, etc...

Now what does a non-Einstein kind of a person like me deduce from all this.....that lord ram was born and is now no more, thus the world has been over-powered by all the evil spirits, man and ghost both, and that the world cannot take all this for long and is thus coming to an end....oh i was so happy watching my cartoons, movies, sports etc.....at least i was not not worried about packing my bags in another 27 odd yrs.... "aakhir meri aankhein kyun khuli"

as of now

2007-11-13T21:04:00.000-08:00

Well my love for reading and writing will take me a long way, I know that……but that surely does not reflect in my blog for sometime now, and I know that too…..

But then that’s the way it is………

Anyways right now I feel so lost and complicated in my life. I am expected to marry and settle down. Yeah I know it’s a part of my adult life but then I would surely like things to happen differently…….but then everything in the world cant happen the way we want it to be.

Of course there are other things I have on mind as well……dad has retired and we are looking to settle down somewhere soon, I feel so caught up in my work…..working for 12 hrs daily can seriously take its toll both on the body and mind, I am getting some really good offers but then…….mom dad are planning on my marriage soon, if I change my job now, how long will I be able to be with my new organization, I am desperately trying to get back in shape….but then miracles don’t happen in real life….i miss my friends and their bindaas company…..

Ok much of cribbing……there are good things happening too…..got a promotion with my current employer, adjudged best employee for the 3rd quarter ( prize was a trip to phuket – but had to forfeit that as without a passport and diwali round the corner, could not really make it )……I am enjoying every moment at home with my niece….oh shes so special…..and enjoy the freedom of having my own bike and riding it around the city….

Well guess that’s enough update on my current status….and do hope to write some more.

My fav....

2007-11-06T09:35:00.000-08:00

home......meri jaan

2007-06-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

google is something awesome that happened to mankind......
was watching the news when came upon a news item about how terrorists had mis-used "google earth" to get confidential information.
what a shame, humans have always found ways of destroying the most beautiful things ever built, and they have done it again.

well i too have used it......and what we see is my world......the one i love and feel proud enough to share with you all

sleepless in Seattle........nah just joking

2007-06-07T10:09:00.000-07:00

Well that’s what I’ve been up to lately. Guess haven’t slept in a couple of days, reason being once I am in bed thousands, no millions of thoughts come pouring down.

Ranging from what I shall speak in my next big conversation with dad on the big thing to when r the carrots coming up to what will I put down in my will, when will I bungi-jump the next time…………there r numerous of them.

Well the good thing is that because of this syndrome a person like me who hates to play games on the mobile phone has now practically become addicted to it. My cell has nearly 16 games and by the way I am going it wont be long before I master all of them.

confession

2007-06-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

A confession…….”I hate doctors”.

Lately they have not even let go of a single opportunity to try and make my life miserable, for whatever wrong I have done…
They tend to specialize in the art of how to make life unpleasant for people. I hate their if’s and but’s and could have been’s…..
I mean a normal mortal can also figure out those, so why do we need to pay thousands of rupees just to hear it from a doctor. Guess being the elite class that they are, normal mortals have been cursed upon by the doc gods to pay their doc mortals for all the crap they are capable to blurt out every time they open their big, selfish, money munching mouths.

An example.

Doc: u see the scans and mri show that the part of brain which has been injured, will leave u changed for ever.
N: hows that possible. I don’t see any change in myself.
Doc: u will soon notice major mood swings, right from being suicidal to being as happy as a child on the smallest issues and also……………..(a lot of other crap).
N: I don’t think that is new. I have been moody for as long as I can remember.
Doc: u don’t get it. It will come up gradually and might as well effect your life in the long run. Moreover u will need to take life long medicines for the headaches and nausea.
N: I don’t think I want to take the medicines anymore. All u are giving me are sleeping pills. If I have to keep taking the pills, as you had told in our first meeting itself why you have wasted my time for all these months. Can you tell me any one thing new that you have come up with to help in the so called recovery?

At this point the m***n turns to the parents for help. And somehow parents tend to blindly believe the morons when it’s got something to do with their kids.

So u see, I hate doctors. They might be good-looking, with an occasional good sense of humor, with a rare twinkle in their eyes……..but let us not get confused by these superficial features……deep down they are all the same……..m****s.

Jena u r a CELEBRITY now

2007-06-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

this video was shot by me with my mobile(reason being so sweaky) at ccd,kolkata, ocassion being one of those boring evenings when people decide to hang out together, to rid each other away from the boredom and loneliness associated with being a single,working person,staying all alone in a big-big city......and for no reason i have put it on you-tube..........common jena i've kind of tried to make u a celebrity

just listen

2007-06-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

i've lately been obsessed with you-tube.......this song particularly has been my favourite for as long as i can remember......just want to share it with all

"4"

2007-06-04T02:30:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was watching a serial called "4" on Sab Tv and found a strange resemblance to the life that was.....

Santosh Kumar Jena, Joydeep Bhattacharya, Nidhi Narayan, Rajesh Kumar Rana and then Jagriti Chowdhury came along

Of course we had Sanjiv Roy and Poonam Pitty........the occassional visitors.....padhaku kinds

Miss U.........ALL

2007-06-04T02:20:00.000-07:00

I miss you
Miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found
It won't be the same............

I miss you

Parh Dala

2007-05-31T08:10:00.000-07:00

Books I have read in 5mths.

• The Husband by Dean Koontz
• Angels and Demons by Dan Brown (2nd time)
• Deception Point by Dan Brown (2nd time)
• The Innocent Man by John Grisham
• Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
• The Monk who sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma
• How to Improve your Negotiation Skills by Hawver
• You can Win by Shiv Khera
• Collected short stories of O’Henry
• The Inscrutable Indian……..have forgotten the authors name as had borrowed it from bhai

Well friends don’t take this as an insult or challenge………just remember I’ve had a lot of time lately…….

Mid-Year Resolutions

2007-05-31T08:08:00.001-07:00

Wonder how many people make mid-year resolutions…………suppose u haven’t been able to fulfill your new-year resolutions, whatever may be the reason.
Since I am one of those who hasn’t been able to fulfill her new-year resolutions, so I am making new ones for myself all over again and I promise to fulfill them and this time the only thing that can stop me is…………….well something worse than what happened last time.
Resolution no.1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10…………just cant make myself write it down here….it might be bad omen, but I’ve got it in my head real good.

2 0 0 7

2007-05-31T07:57:00.000-07:00

2007……..a year I dreamt which would bring the change I desired, the winds of change which would wipe away my p’s, g’s, s’s……..but unfortunately none of that has happened so far.
Nearly half the year has gone past and as of now my life seems to have stuck in a whirlwind from which I find it hard to come out.
I remember I had once read that u could simply fall and die………….die , well nearly did and that too because of a fall, and what has followed is a series of scans, mris’, neurosurgeons, homeopathic, ayurvedic, naturopathy, yoga……………..u name it and I’ve done it.
Have been out of office for nearly 5mths, though not out of a job as my organization so for has been understanding, but how long that’s gonna continue is pretty difficult to say.
Though things seem to have bettered with me getting to use the computer again with an hours of tv………though still not allowed to do a few other things, very ordinary otherwise but as of now have taken extraordinary proportions.
I do hope that things will change soon………SOON.

days and people

2006-10-10T23:49:00.000-07:00

today i walked in the office at 7:30.........really early, but work needed to be done as yesterday had left early because of a major headache, and at night had a small argument with jags......she is my goooood friend at pg.......though she thinks she can boss around all the time and does scold me, as though i am some kid........but i still like her, nice person. had decided will not speak to her for a week but ofcourse it is difficult for me to be angry on my friends.........jo pasand hain unhi se baat karna bandh kar denge to baath kisse karenga.

by the way life is a little relaxed right now as the work pressure is less because of the recent pujas......am able to go home early now-a-days.........is a good feeling, but on the whole have become very lazy of late........when was alone at the pg,before jags came back from guwahati....spent 1 complete week sitting at cafe coffee day for nearly 2 hrs daily, so much so that the ccd people have offered me a part-time job at their place.........and now that jags and the other girls are back, the evenings are spent in her room, and ofcourse she shouted at me last night, so was fuming in anger and sitting in my room listening to ear-blasting music all by myself.........

Bandh time again in Kolkata

2006-10-07T04:27:00.000-07:00

its bandh time again in kolkata............intricasies.......i dont know, the only thing is that i have a holiday for 2 days...........though monday is a working day, but i live in a politically active place and people have advised me not to venture out on that day.........so holiday it is :-))

dreams

2006-10-06T00:34:00.000-07:00

of late all i have done is- dreamt........about endless things............ranging from A-Z.........and this is how it looks

Lonely ohh....so Lonely

2006-10-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

Lonely......yeah, thats exactly what i feel every evening when i make my return journey to the pg (paying guest).........

so much so that i even volunteer to work on holidays......thats what the lonely syndrome has done to me.........i try to work late every evening, or even if the work gets finished early i loiter in the office or sit at the cafe coffee day.......near my place........and drink endless cups of coffee............
the pg is a lonely place, i dont get to watch any tv, my only indulgences are readying the newspaper, listening to radio.....or once in a while i go to the rooms of the other pg girls and sit around...........but that too is not good as the other girl in my friends room is not very comfortable with other people in her room.........so i make my visits really short and return to my room and just do..........god knows what.

it really hurts when i fall sick, i really miss mom at those times.....no one even bothers to ask, "how r u", even for the sake of it.........there have been endless times when i have sobbed myself to sleep.......well probably i am not mature enough, or old enough to absorb such issues...probably with time and experience i will be able to handle such issues better.

but then there is office, where i can work and forget everything.........just about everything in those 10hrs. everyday.
things have not been going on that well of late..........i had 2 accidents involving the cab, and both times i was just lucky to come out alive......close thats what it was, did leave me pretty bruised, but did not tell mom/dad cause they would have worried, bekar mein........

EXPECTATION...thats the root of all problems, I KNOW, but being human i still do the same mistake again and again.......i still crave for the emotional support, the bonding, the shoulder to cry on.......................HUMAN, guess thats what i am.

......NeW.....

2006-10-05T01:08:00.000-07:00

HSBC.....well thats where i am right now,and am sorry guys who have missed me for so long....but i was genuinely busy with this new job and new responsibilities.
working here has been fun...have met some really good people....both senoir colleagues and of friendly people to work with.
had gone to delhi for my induction-well was awesome, as was in delhi for the first time.........but did not get the opportunity to see more of delhi as was having a packed schedule...........but on the whole was a good experience, and also won a prize for best presentation...
will try to keep updating my blog once again.........hopeeeeessssss galore.

life

2006-06-11T18:59:00.000-07:00

well am writing after a really long time and to tell you the truth i really missed it all......

anyways have joined office, fell sick with food poisining due to the junk food i ate because there is no eating facility available near office, am working in an office which is completely male dominated and none of my immediate colleagues are females, so have to usually turn a deaf ear to all the male talk.........its kind of a ragging session at office, seniors casually push off all the files towards us, i.e. my colleague and i..........which is well not that very nice of them........cause on sat. i did 33 files, from 9:30am till 9:00pm..........it was tough.......

and no i am not nagging about it cause i know now is the time to learn , but sometimes i get a bit too tired..........especially working with fever is not that plesant an experience.

anyways since works got to be done i am doing it...........but i dont like it..........its not that i dont like to work, i dont like what i am doing.............we are in personal loans, we give loans to people who are in desperate need of money at an extraordinarily high int. rate..........literally making them pay 210% of what we give...........

so u can call me whatever but i feel that this is very unethical.......cheating on poor and uneducated people who dont know nor understand anything, but who just trust you with closed eyes and we dont leave even one opportunity to betray them

anyways thats how life is going on right now..........a fight against myself to do what i feel is not right and yet,yet, yet doing it to perfection...................ironical, yeah thats what it is right now.

the lesson......

2006-05-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

well thinks have not really been rosy for me during the past week, one, its my exams and next, a lot of other stuff happened..........had decided not to write about it, but owe this to my other blog friends who have a right to know and some of whom have also demanded for the story.

all the regular visitors to my blog know that i am looking for a new place to stay, since my mba is getting over and since am placed with ibcs ltd. in kolkata so will have to find a place to shift.

so did a lot of research, contacted a lot of people, saw a lot of houses both on rent and pg........meaning spent a lot of time and money and that too during exam time, i would spend the whole hot and humid afternoon going to different places, tagging my friends along with me, and after getting totally tired sit down to study at night.........beleive me, it was really tough for me.......got a heat stroke twice during that period.

finally after a lot of searching found the perfect pg accommodation, in a posh area, easily accessible by any means of transport, good people, everything........
when this girl, bnm, came along........she is like the outcast of our college, no one likes her and no one wants her, she begged me that i let her stay with me cause she had no where to go, i pittied on her and on humanitarian grounds, welcomed her with open arms...........and beleive thats the most foolish thing i have ever done.

well the next day signed the contract and came back, had just sat down to study since had a very imp. finance paper the next day, when she comes and gives me the news that she will not stay with me as her lgs have seen the place and dont find it safe, i demanded a valid reason on which she said that 15yrs. ago a girl was raped and murdered some 20 minutes walk from that place...........insane, yeah thats what i thought she and her local guardian were.........

anyways had no other option, i told her that she would have to repay me for any loss i will have to incur because of her indecisiveness.........at this her mom, dad, lg all started giving me a call, telling me all that bull-shit that i was like their daughter and they are thinking in my best interest............beleive me i just wanted to shout out rudly at them, but my values did not allow me to do so...........i finally gave the owner a call and after a long talk and convincing he agreed to return the complete money......so was a little happy and dissappointed, that though i lost a home at least did not loose my money......i informed her about it too.......had missed my dinner, could not study anything, and had a very disturbed sleep that night

anyways, after the exam got over at 5pm the next day, my dad gave me a call, i was so pissed off to know that her mom had callled my dad to tell him this whole incident, despite the fact that i had told this woman not to contact my parents, as whatever the thing was i would tell my parents on my own..........i was fuming with anger, anyways had to go to the pg place to get back the money, i took a friend along with me and refused to go with the girl with her lg in his car.......i just needed some time to get over my anger, so reached there by takinga bus.....

after reaching their, the owner just started shouting at me using abusive words, i was shocked......what the hell had happened now, the thing was that, the girl had called him up using my name and had abused him and challenged him that she could pull him to court regarding the issue and that he did not know who her dad/relatives were.......i wanted to slap the girl right there in front of everyone for being such a *****, but again my sanskar came in between............the owner banged the door on our faces and told us he would not return even a single cent....

now after this her sanki lg pulled me to the police station, beleive me this was my first visit to one, i was finding the whole situation so wierd and funny that by now all my anger vanished.......the police guy called up the owner who after putting his side of the story forward agreed to pay the deposit amount and pay the rest of the amount if he finds a new renter or else forget about the amount..........well forget........thats what i have done to 3000rs.

now for the readers this might be a small amount, but for me being a student and with all the harrasment and tension, its a really big amount.
and then later the ***** had the nerves to come to me and ask me to pay her for her share of money, by looking for a new partner..........insane, thats the only word which can best fit her.

whatever happened this is just a jist of it all, i cannot possibly in words put in all the tension, anger, frustration, annoyance, pain.........

and then it started all over again, the phone calls, the visits.........life is pretty tough.........

but now i have a suggestion for all, this lesson is given my friend to me:
"nevar trust anyone,
never expect anythinh from anyone"

lessons

2006-05-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow,
Sometimes we must fail in order to know,
Sometimes we must lose in order to gain
Coz sum lessons in life are best learned through pain.

loss,loss,loss

2006-05-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

today i lost 4GB worth of songs from my hard-disk..........that too during exam time, i just cant beleive it!!!!!!

i dont even know how and when it happened..........but one things for sure, today i lost nearly 5 years worth of work, endless hours of sorting out songs, putting them into different folders, collecting songs from different sources.................i just cant beleive it!!!!!

the two possibilities r that either i lost my mind and deleted the folder.........which i am sure is not the case, or someone who was using my comp. deleted it...........and unfortunately i even know the person who did it.

now the thing is that, i have decided to keep my cool and just not say anything, but that is turning out to be really difficult..........just hope i can stay this way.

but one things for sure, this is by far the greatest loss i've had regarding my comp.........i just cant beleive it!!!!!!!!!!!

crazy world

2006-05-04T23:57:00.000-07:00

This is my 50th post and everyone around me seems to have gone Crazy

its exam time again, and everyone around me seems to have lost it……..

the exams start from tomorrow and will last till 24th……long time for 8 subjects, but in a way its good for people like me who have not studied in advance.

in the meantime am hunting for a good place to stay, since will have to vacate the hostel by 30th, so lot of work needs to be done with very less time in hand.....

So will be away for sometime, though its hard to stay away from the comp., blogging has already become my passion

See u all……

!!!! Birthday Snaps !!!!

2006-05-03T22:58:00.000-07:00

the viva on 28th was relatively good considering the fact that the director was sitting with me and the teachers were also seriously asking their questions, the enviornment was relatively tense but i faired nicely.......just couldnt answer one question, that too of my favourite prof..have planned to apologize to him later on..............

then we went to our favourite place to hang out for my birthdy treat--Tandoori Darbar--the food as usual was amazing, and as usual we all had ordered more than we could eat, but this time we got the extra, untouched stuff packed and gave it to one of the beggars just outside the restaurant...........so all in all it was a nice evening, except for the kolkata heat with a tarka of humidity is really getting bad.

this is me..........b'day ka joosh hai

the cake..........yummyyy

the gang.......clockwise....Rajesh(guy in grey t-shirt), Poonam, Joydeep, Sanjeev, Santosh and Me.

masti ka hai samma.........Me, Santosh, Poonam, Joydeep........Rajesh was taking this snap, while Sanjeev had already left to study

Shit Happens

2006-05-02T23:31:00.000-07:00

i first heard this quote in Tom Hank's movie......Forrest Gump.

and from that day onwards i have truly come to beleive that shit does happen, unexpectadly, out of the blue, it just comes and hits you with the force of a meteor, uprooting you from your ground, shaking all beleifs you have in god or eternity...........

but then should we let these things shake us till the depths of our soul..................NO, NO, NEVER.

no one or nothing can be given the power to take control over our emotions, our beleif, our strength, our will to fight it all...........cause nothing is in this world which cant be defeated, nothing is impossible, ever.

it maybe a setback, but i know we all have the will to fight it and rub it to dust, a strength that will make the enemy feel he were better be dead than live the consequences that await the wrongdoers................and above all there is god............who always gives his verdict.............maybe sometimes a little late but it never fails to come.

so shit does happen, but it has a message, a lesson to be learnt................if 16 people can come out "alive" from the alps after 72 days without food or water, if apollo 13 can make a safe landing back on earth....................then what the hell................everything can be conquered, everything.

Farewell batch of '06

2006-04-29T22:42:00.000-07:00

"Koi loatade mere betein hue din"..........finally it was farewell night, an indicator that our stint at AIM is finally coming to an end and now what awaits us is the real world outside...........scarry and in the same time hopeful of making it big.

the juniors put up a good show, hope to come back during convocation..........a feeling of nostalgia has come over me...........this place has taught me a lot, given me probably the best of friends so far, given me a job.................but most importantly given me a dream................

i have selected a few photographs of my close friends to put in my blog.

the invitation & the theme "Protoganist"

Neha(harry potter), I(gabbar), Rajesh(alexander), Anand(swami),
Sanjeev(hitler)

Navneet(ocean 11), Joydeep(mr.cool), Rajesh(alexander)

Rajesh(alexander) & public behind

Poonam (anjali) and Santosh (ashoka)

Abhilasha(rani mukherjee-blind), Deepak(thake hare)

Narendra(junior), Rajesh(alexander), Santosh(ashoka), Rajpreet, Naveen(zorro)

Nitesh(bus yuhin), I(gabbar), Abhilasha(black), Vasudha mam, Neha mam

Neha(hp), Anand(swami), Sanjeev(hitler), Prabhat sir(srk)

24 today

2006-04-27T00:02:00.000-07:00

Its my birthday today…………turn 24 today, it’s a long stay in this strange world which I have still to figure out.

I know friends will call up to wish me, and some not so friends will come to complete the formality……I kind of feel nostalgic as I remember the grand way in which birthdays are celebrated at home, first the puja in the temple, then the big party bash, enough presents to last for a whole year, so much of laughter and smiles, blessings………but guess we all have to pay a price for growing up.

And on this special day what awaits me is studying for the viva, staying alone in my room the whole day long, having the inedible mess food as cant afford to go out today...........really, really missing my family……..this is the 2nd year in a roll that I will be spending my birthday away from home.

Mumma knows how I feel on this day, so mom, dad, di, jiju and puchku were planning to come to kolkata to spend the day with me, despite my sister having to leave for nagpur the very next day, I just hope everyone has a family like mine, but unfortunately its election day in kolkata today…………so the plan had to be dropped.

Anyways lately I have taken an addiction for this great song, sung by AKON…….mr.lonely

inspirational

2006-04-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

WATER

2006-04-23T02:36:00.000-07:00

this movie is about prostitution of widows, which might not be as 'unnatural' in India as lesbianism was, the fact that it happenned (and perhaps, is happening) under the watchful eyes of the religious establishment.

hope it gets released in india some time soon.

“O and I”

2006-04-21T21:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had an unusual experience-I met an OWL, feel in love with it and then had to let it go.

I have saved many creatures of the wild before-once I picked a puppy who fell in the drain and nursed it for several days, same happened with a kitten also, have saved a couple of bird fledglings but they never made it, once while trekking I found a non-poisonous injured snake which I picked up and later in the day gave away to the zoo authorities, then there have been numerous ants, butterflies, cows, stray dogs, snails, earthworms, etc.-I don’t know whether I am interfering with the food chain, but that’s what I do.

While talking on the phone to my mother, I suddenly saw something fall from the tree in front of our hostel.
At first I did not pay any attention to it, but then out of nowhere hundreds of crows appeared-its then that after paying closer attention I realized that it was an OWL!!

The first thing that came to my mind was calling rkr-since he is also involved in animal protection activities, but guys of my insti., being the nocturnal creatures they are-he was in deep sleep so it was useless.
Then I saw two other guys sj and sr going from there-I shouted “save it”, but the reply I got was-“its an owl”-I wanted to shout back,”yeah I know, now do something about it”-but all they did was turned a deaf ear towards me, called out to the owl as if it were a dog and walked away.

I was furious at the stupidity of everyone, so I just ran downstairs in my night suit and picked it up before the crows could kill it-it was so big, so furry, so soft, so frightened, so beautiful, and above all so sleepy….it could not even open its eyes.
Despite searching for an appropriate place to hide it, I found none, so took it to the girl’s gym which is adjacent to my room.

By that time other girls of my wing had also come together.Abhilasha and I tried to create a nest out of newspaper (though I am not sure if owls live in nests or not) and put O (that’s what I named it) on it, O instantly fell to sleep.

As girls started coming in, so did their stupid question, are people simply stupid or do they pretend to be so, I find it difficult to understand. Here are some comments they made:
*Owls are bad omen
*Owl! Owl!, I have never seen one in my life
*Oh its shit is yellow in colour, the white shit doing owls are good omen
*Its colour is changing, does it have a disease
*Why is it sleeping now
*Let us give it to the zoo; we can make some money out of it…….

“Oh god, just save me from these ullus”, was the only prayer I made.

Anyways Abhi and I just stuck to our posts in the gym, studying, chatting softly not to disturb O, but majority of the time we just kept staring at O, I really can’t explain the feeling of sitting close to an owl-it’s just so different.

At around 5pm it started moving around the gym, still sleepy though as it could not walk straight and had its eyes still half-closed. I offered it water and some cake but O was in no mood for any of it. At 6:30pm we decided it was time to let O fly away.

I carried O to a small clearing near the college, put it down on the grass and walked away. Then something unbelievable happened, it walked back to where I was standing-this happened twice-was it frightened or did it get too attached to me (because I did), I really don’t know.
But it had to go for its own good-finally I left O on the grass, patted its head, said some encouraging words and then it finally flew away-with its wings open we realized how big O really was……….nearly 2mts.from one end to the other.

GORGEOUS-yeah that’s what it really was.

Late that night I stood in the corridor waiting patiently to get one glimpse of O-probably next time.

2day

2006-04-19T00:14:00.000-07:00

*Well I know u all will like this new look of my blog because I love it……….complete credit goes to, Rajesh, the god, if its too early to declare him so, lets call him the demi-god of blogging who not only suggested this change but took the pains to sit for around 3hrs., searched the right look, modified it and worked on it till the last detail and this is what I have right now………..

*plz. note that since my existence in this world is quite questionable so the planet on the top bar is presumably my home, Jupiter or something……….

*The other rather pleasant experience of today was that santosh asked me to accompany him till the atm, which I did and on the way I had my most favourite thing……bhutta, or maize if u call it so, and not one but two………..then we had decided to have thumsup, when this idea struck me that why not try having it in a kullhar(mud-glasses) and believe it was so good, all foamy and despite it being all chilled it was so easy to drink……….my recommendation, do have it, its worth the experience, and u know what I could use this idea in my future restaurant……….the Indian feel!!!

*But amongst all this the thing that is worrying me is that I am not studying with the dedication and concentration that I usually do……….the reason I actually don’t know, could be many or none………but whatever need to get serious now

i dont wanna dream

2006-04-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

I have hardly slept for 3 hrs. last night, thanks to the hot and humid weather of kolkata and moreover my rather very disturbing dreams or nightmare……..probably that describes it better.

What is it about dreams, why do we need to dream, what is its significance, what are their relevance……..these are questions probably some scientist can explain, but as far as I am concerned I hardly have any use for them. I would prefer a quite and uneventful night rather than the one I had last night.

I dream a lot, whatever the reason may be, but unfortunately I remember only the bad dreams, I do wonder that whether if at all I have good dreams??
And these bad dreams of mine have a pretty high frequency rate, they are so clear, I can see the face of all the people very clearly, whatever they say is so absolutely clear that even unwantingly I can remember it till late after getting up………….and by bad dreams I mean……..i rather not write it.

These unwelcome actions have forced me to put on a high vott night bulb when I go to sleep. So that if I have one of my dreams and am woken up in the middle of the night I at least do not have to sit in complete darkness until sanity finally has control over my rather shaky and battered nerves.

I have read that dreams are the consequence of all the events that we encounter during the course of the day, but as far as the record goes my nightmares are no where near to my real life, but if it were……..i think I would go crazy with so much of horror and suspense and……

Whatever, hope to catch some sleep now as day has already broken and whilst my neighbours have started studying for the day I need to catch up with some sleep……hope it’s a quite one this time.

Update:
Am I in luck or what, I had an unusual experience………when I went back to sleep I had a continuation of the same nightmare……..probably this could get me a place in the guinees book of world record for having the longest nightmare that too with a break.
Anyways am going to have a washing day today and hope it can get the stupid thing out of my mind.

_L_O_V_E_

2006-04-15T00:10:00.000-07:00

Though this is not the Valentine season yet wanted to write something about it............All the time I have heard people talking about it, read a lot of poetry and stories about it, heard a lot of experiences, seen a lot of movies regarding it………..and finally have come to the conclusion that it sure does exist but only the fortunate few actually live it.

The Webster English dictionary describes LOVE as :

*A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
*A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

I had once seen a documentary on Discovery channel about love and it showed that love actually exists only for a short period during which the right part of the brain secretes chemicals which gives people the feeling of experiencing something out of the ordinary, but they also said that the initial phase is pure infatuation and what follows later is compatibility, affection, reliability…etc. and that is what real love is…..

Anyways I have seen many people experience what they think is love, let me give a few egs…

*College love which got lost and put this person in a shell which is difficult to break, left a wound which has still not healed, hope with time and maturity it will……..was it love or infatuation, how can one know???

*An experienced hand in love, first the girl left him and then to boost his low ego fell in love with another and left her, now has the confidence that can make anyone his deewani………is this what love is, can one fall in love with many people, is it love always???

*Has had a score of girlfriends right from class 2 and says he fell in love with each one of them………is it possible to understand love at such a small age, how does one draw a line between flirting and actually being in love???

*A failure in love, tried a lot of times to convince others that he truly and deeply loves the other person but has failed miserably all the times, but very convincingly falls in love again…….is it possible to fall in love so frequently???

*Lovingly calls his love his biwi, have been together for a long time and plan to marry soon, though the girl is not well informed about worldly issues…….so is it still love or a commitment???

*Knew a guy as a best friend who fell in love with her but she never felt the same for him, so despite him saying it a lot of times she never accepted it, now has fallen in love with someone or so she thinks because the feeling just increases everyday, but she will never say it to him and the secret will lie deep in her heart because one word and a lot of things will change and what about her family……….is love not strong enough to give people the strength to accept and just say it???

There are many instances when I do question what LOVE actually is and it surprises me that when the whole world is going mad studying for the upcoming exams, then why the hell am I writing about something I have so little experience and exposure about……

But I do wonder that wouldn’t it be nice for all to fall in love, crazy love, when u don’t give a damn for the world, things are so rosy, you always have a reason to day dream, lots of gifts, and what else would we need then……….to have the right to love and be loved, to stand in front of all and just say the magical words

Some say that nothing like love actually exists, some say it is the best thing that can ever happen to anyone, some say actual love grows with time and its worth experiencing it, for some love is like changing your clothes, for some it’s just a word, while for some its their life……….so whatever it is may those who have it enjoy it and those who don’t, if its worth it, may we all get it sometime soon!!!!!!

hum to chale ghar //\\

2006-03-31T23:56:00.000-08:00

i am writing this post as i watch "notting hill" (one of my favourite movie) for the umpteenth time.........this is because i am going home to spend some precious time with my family, so will be away for quite some time.....

home is a place i never wanted to leave in the first place, i love my home........i love to curl up in my bed as papa reads the morning paper and mumma is busy preparing breakfast, i love to have morning tea with my parents discussing great stuff all the time, i love to water my beautiful garden, i love to sit alone on the rocking chair and listen to songs for hours, i love ghar ka khana, i love to have dinner at the table with mumma pampering me all the time, i love to attend the daily puja......
i think we all are children at heart no matter how old we become, we just try to hide behind masks.......acting to be matured and potraying thinks which the society wants us to be and do...........

anyways meet u people after some time :))

<< fussy, confused & lost >>

2006-03-30T00:42:00.000-08:00

i sometimes have these thoughts that probably i really am from.......... jupiter or that i am born in a wrong era or probably in the wrong place.........this is not a thought that has suddenly crept in my mind but is the result of years of observation........let me give u some examples:

--i hate it when people pronounce my name in some other form, other than the way it should be pronounced and once ended up giving a 30min. tution to one of my dads foreign friends, u should have looked at his face at the dinner table.........i overheard him telling my dad that he has a difficult child

--i want the table of any restaurant i visit, set to perfection........and when that does not happen i sort of make the life of the person waiting on me quite difficult, i beleive that things should be the way they are supposed to be

--i am a perfectionist when it comes to arranging my room, i set things in the way i like and even one change catches my attention and i can go to any levels trying to figure out who messed my things.

--i want to help everyone i see who is in need and i know it is not possible, my friends find it difficult to hold me back from going into full time social service

----i love to read my morning paper crisp and taaza, if someone reads it before me i never read it, so i used to purchase my personal copy which my roomy made it a point to read it everyday before me and tarnish the freshness of the paper, this irritated me so much that i stopped taking the paper

--i cannot sit with a person who i know has bad-mouthed me or who has worked against me, my face being my worst enemy just reveals everything without me having to do much

--i feel confused when i am with people i know bitch about each other behind the other persons back, but when they are together they behave as though they are the best of friends..........where the hell do they get those masks from, in which market???

-- i suffer from extreme mood swing disorder, it ranges from..........smiling at everyone, acknowledging only friends, staying completely mum, totally lost.........there are many other phases which i am unable to identify

--i cant tolerate peolpe who keep bragging about themselves, i just want to shout out aloud, "just shut up, i know you are lying", and it really makes me sick in the stomach to keep faking that plastic smile

--i hate big parties or those family get-togethers where all the aunties smear themselves in tons of make-up, desperately trying to look young and keep repeating the same dialogue, "aare kitni badi ho gayi hai, bachpan me to....", and all the uncles dressed in those suits and ties who just discuss business and more business as if nothing else exists in this world worth talking about

--i hate my doc. when he gives me one of those looks.........u know i know it all, and now i am going to give you some more bad news...........he makes me feel more sick each time i visit him.

--i feel lost in a crowd, stupid but true, i just loose my way and the moment i reach i start figuring out the best workable excuse to get out of there

--i cant wear unironed, dirty clothes and cant share my clothes with anyone else other than my di, nor do i borrow from others..........despite whatever others might think, just cant help it

now this list can go on and on.........

my guru always says that being successful is not only about knowing your strengths and working with them, rather its about knowing your weakness and trying to improve on it because thats what pulls down a person.

i think i understand him, but being who i am its really difficult, though i am working on it........i think i need to be sent to jupiter for some corrections if thats where the problem is, or probably back in the past if they can accept people like me in any era.............warna aagar koi raasta nahi nikla to bus :"jina hi zindagi hai jeete hi jaa rahain hain"..............aap logon ko parashan karne ke liye hume afsoos hai, its a major technical snag-------

aaj kaal

2006-03-27T21:43:00.000-08:00

am writing after a few days bacause a few things kind of kept me busy

--today played the finals of the volleyball match and won......felt just great to play after a long time and that too when i played pretty well.........i am actually obsessed with the game and whenever have time play it in my mind, just feels great to do it in real life.

--last week played badminton after years and that too in a tournament without any prior practice..........and then what happened was muscle giraftar, couldnt move an inch without pain.........waise kind of maaza aaya, u know playing after such a long time and that too with a close buddy.

--had gone for a treat thrown by my fin. friend sodhi........it was cake cake everywhere and we had to eat it all...........really relished it...........dost logon if u r getting a cake on my b'day make sure its a big, chocolate one, i'd rather prefer the same one.

--tried to study for 3 internal tests i had today, failed miserably trying to do so, though had got up early and tried to do some reading but afsoos dimag ki batti bandh ho gayi hai, once again had to take the help of outsourcing, i have totally given up..........ab tabhi parenge jab dimag jug jaayega. and

moreover with the registrar breathing down my throat about less attendance and not letting me sit for the exam its really difficult to concentrate.

--am desperately trying to upload some photographs but the net speed has lately become pathetic, but i am still not giving up.

--and i dont know if i mentioned it earlier but my friend rajesh gave us a placement treat at my favourite tandoori darbar.........but i missed out on the mutton biryani that day........umeed hai agli baar zaroor.....

party time

2006-03-21T23:06:00.000-08:00

for the past few months my friends and i have been in a party mood and never fail to celebrate any occassion, today being rajesh giving his placement treat.

so far we have visited some of the good places in kolkata..........botanical garden, national library, birla museum, indian museum & birla temple, though we r deciding on going to the other places too like victoria memorial and the baggi ride, dakhineshwar temple, science city, nicco park, etc.

we have also seen a couple of good movies together and enjoyed dominos pizza at new empire immensly though the fast-food stall adjacent to it gave us a really bad deal for our money, but thats fine, u always gain some and loose some.

our favourite place for eating is tandoori darbar in hazra, not only is the food good but the people who wait on you are also nice, unlike lazeez which has turned more into a bar from the family restaurant it once was. though i want to go to pizza hut once, i have been there many times before but never with my friends.........lets see.

somewhere down the line i feel this urgency to visit all the places in kolkata, because who knows "kal ho na ho", and especially since i will be joining office soon and after working 72hrs. a week i dont think i will be left with the energy to even move a bone and above all since my parents are not too keen on my staying in kolkata any longer than required as i have been sick since the first day i stepped foot in this city.......

but the future being so unpredictable all i want to do now is party hard, visit all the discs, watch all the movies and spend time with my friends.

hi

2006-03-19T23:20:00.000-08:00

well this is not a great post to celebrate my silver anniversary of postings, yet the most imp. so far........

this is something regarding my recent behaviour, its just that my face as always is betraying me, but its a request...........it would be nice if you all could leave me in the state i am in right now and just forget about me if possible because i dont want to spoil your day also by being with me...........and plz. dont ask me to explain anything because i never will, its just too close to my heart and too personal

i wanted to write about it, i even made a draft..........i planned to change the settings and change the blog address and name, because i feel that if i dont talk about it, its just gonna blow my head off...........but then it would be like running away a bit too far, probably some day when things r different, when i am different i will...........

Magar.....

2006-03-19T11:42:00.000-08:00

na jaane kaon sa toofan chipa liya humne dil mein
na jaane kaon sa dard daba liya humne jigar mein
laboon pur haasi liye phirte hum galiyon mein
Magar dil rota to hai.......

hum tumse kabhi kuch keh na paaye
na tum kabhi yeh samajh paaye
hum miltein hain bicherte hain
hooton pur haasi rahti hai hur waqt
Magar dil rota to hai........

log aatein hain jaatein hai
pur najaane kyon yeh gaamon ki chaaya
bus thaher si gaayi hai
kuch kabhi nazar to nahi aata
Magar dil rota to hai.......

aur kabhi mano yeh aason
chalakna chaahtein hain aankhon se
rook letein hain hum unhe aapne andar
dard bhar jaata hai sine mein
log samjhtein hain, kuch nahi
hum dard ko haasi mein ura deetein hain
Magar dil rota to hai.....

jeeven ke is safar mein
mein bus phasti hi jaa rahi hun samay ke naa jaane kis mayajaal mein
waqt badal gaya hai
saath main bhi badal gaayein hun
kaaise samjhaaon ki arth anaarth ho gaya hai
laboon pur haasi liye phirte hum galiyon mein
Magar dil rota to hai.....

*Terrifying Night**

2006-03-12T22:23:00.000-08:00

Last evening my Bhaiya had come to give me a really short visit, so despite not feeling too well i had put up a brave face and went out to have dinner and bid Bhaiya good-bye.

By the time i came back to my room i was already running a high temperature so decided to take some medication and go to sleep..................i suddenly woke up at around 2 in the morning, my heart was pounding so fast it seemed it would leap out of my body, i was fully covered in sweat and above all, their was this dog cyring just under my window. A perfect mix of a terrifying night.

I dont know whether it was the medication playing games with my mind or was it something else, but i kept drifting into sleep and then kept getting up, nightmares so frightening that evertime i got up with a jerk, dripping in sweat...................my window has the view of a beautiful tree outside with its branches nearly touching my window, and being a windy night the rattling of the leaves were also adding their affect to the already tense situation................i kept chanting the Hanuman Chalisa in my mind................

Then finally in the early hours of the morning i drifted into deep sleep getting up at around 9am. I was discussing the nights experience with my room-mate when she told me that she also had many night-mares the same night, was it a coincidence.............. well what can i say, i just have to make myself believe that the mind sometimes plays such games with us for no reason at all.

::Life goes ONN::

2006-03-09T23:32:00.000-08:00

A couple of days back there was a bomb blast in Varanasi, India..........and i did not know about it till today, it was just one of those days when you are so busy with yourself it leaves no time at all for the other things in life.

But what surprised me was that no one ever talked about it, i have met so many friends during the past few days but no one thought that it was a topic worth discussing, the 16 lives which were lost that day in one of the most influential and religious towns of India had no meaning for people around me. It has become just another incident, like the so many others that happen in countries like ours.

It all was just a news article to read and then cast away as if it never happened. Pity what a state our country and its people have come to. We all live in our secured cocoons and things only matter when it hurts us, then only we stop and notice, shame, pure shame. Todays newspaper had a photograph of the temple where the daily puja goes on as if nothing ever happened, no one even remembers it seems..................

Juggling these thoughts in my mind, a positive approach would be that..........its nice that people are facing troubles with such immence courage and not putting their arms down in front of the terrorists, but then something also tells me that the above is just something we say to feel good and overlook the writing on the wall...........that no one has the time for anyone, people are so busy in their own world that they fail to stop and take notice, fail to emphatise any longer, fail to even hold a minutes peace for those who died a wrong death, people who could have had happier and beautiful lives had they not been there on that fateful day...........only if.

Or we have got immuned to facing trouble, immuned to death, immuned to political negligence, immuned to so many more things. Only if it had been an imp. man who had died on that fateful day.............things would have been so different..........everyone would have talked about it for days, there would be peace processions, immediate action taken on the identified terrorist group, large compensation packages announced, one minutes silence in the parliament, the high officials suspended or transferred.............. only IF.

But then what the hell whats there to be so senti about................doesn't Life Go On and On.

:((A to Z of Stress Management:))

2006-03-08T00:30:00.000-08:00

Always take time for yourself, at least 30 minutes per day.

Be aware of your own stress meter: Know when to step back and cool down.

Concentrate on controlling your own situation, without controlling everybody else.

Daily exercise burns off the stress chemicals.

Eat lots of fresh fruit, veggies, bread and water; give your body the best for it to perform at its best.

Forgive others, don't hold grudges and be tolerant -- not everyone is ascapable as you.

Gain perspective on things, how important is the issue?

Hugs, kisses and laughter: Have fun and don't be afraid to share your feelings with others.

Identify stressors and plan to deal with them better next time.

Judge your own performance realistically; don't set goals out of your own
reach.

Keep a positive attitude, your outlook will influence outcomes and the way others treat you.

Limit alcohol, drugs and other stimulants, they affect your perception and behaviour.

Manage money well, seek advice and save at least 10 per cent of what you earn.

No is a word you need to learn to use without feeling guilty.

Outdoor activities by you, or with friends and family, can be a great way to relax.

Play your favourite music rather than watching television.

Quit smoking: It is stressing your body daily, not to mention killing you too.

Relationships: Nurture and enjoy them, learn to listen more and talk less.

Sleep well, with a firm mattress and a supportive pillow; don't over heat yourself and allow plenty of ventilation.

Treat yourself once a week with a massage, dinner out, the movies: Moderation is the key.

Understand things from the other person's point of view.

Verify information from the source before exploding.

Worry less; it really does not get things completed better or quicker.

Xpress: Make a regular retreat to your favourite space, make holidays part of your yearly plan and budget.

Yearly goal setting: Plan what you want to achieve based on your priorities in your career, relationships, etc

Zest for life: Each day is a gift, smile and be thankful that you are apart of the bigger picture.

<>

2006-03-07T23:19:00.000-08:00

Wings.............. by Anthony West

If I had wings to fly
I'd breathe in deep
and spread them wide
as I leap from the cliff
into the wind where the gulls glide.

Crossing this wide sea
I glide above cruel waves
that reach up to drown my flight
intheir cold deep
blue-green graves.

And as your day grows slowly light
I'd arrive on worn-out wings
to hold you in your waking dreams
and feel you soft and gently warm
in my embrace at last.

^^Patch Up^^

2006-03-07T22:35:00.000-08:00

Finally........

I went to PP and asked what the hell was wrong with her, she had been acting very wierd for the past week and a half, stuff like ignoring, walking past without any reaction and on purpose not sharing the same table with me................really immature and childish behaviour...............

anyways she said that she got hurt by something i told her last sunday, well it was a complete surprise for me as i was simply kidding and had no ulteroir motives while speaking...............i think if you r someones friend then you should be frank enough to tell the other person that u r mad at her because of something she said or did..........

i hope now my other friends will be pleased with me that i have finally broken the ice, swallowing my ego in the process as i still know that i was just joking, and now we can all hang out together like before........

but i really did not like the way events followed and will surely think a hundred times before joking with someone, cause i do not want a similar repetition too soon in the near future.

Sorry!! but How??

2006-03-07T13:10:00.000-08:00

I didn't do anything!" "It's not my fault!" "Say you're sorry!"

Sound familiar? If so, you are like a lot of people who sometimes argue with their friends and family members. Let's face it - it's not always easy to get along with sisters and brothers, parents, and friends. People aren't perfect, and they sometimes do things that get them into trouble. Saying "I'm sorry" can help.

Saying you're sorry is called apologizing. When you apologize, you're telling someone that you're sorry for the hurt you caused, even if you didn't do it on purpose. People who are apologizing might also say that they will try to do better. They might promise to fix or replace what was broken or take back a mean thing they said.

How Does It Make You Feel?When you apologize to someone - and really mean it - it's because you have stopped to think about how the person may have felt because of what you did or said. When you stop to think about the other person's feelings, you begin to feel sorry for your behavior. You might even feel embarrassed or ashamed if you did something that you knew was wrong.

Even if what happened was an accident or you did something you didn't mean to do, you would probably still feel sorry if you knew the other person's feelings were hurt.

After apologizing, you might feel a little better (the other person probably will, too). When you apologize in a caring way, you can feel good because you are trying to make things right again.

What Does An Apology Sound Like?There are many ways to apologize.

When you apologize to someone, they might apologize back to you. They might say, "That's OK, I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have teased you." And then maybe you can both feel friendly again.

(http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_family/sorry.html)

Roller-Coaster Rides……..

2006-03-03T00:17:00.000-08:00

The past week since I returned from home has not really been very pleasant, especially when you come to think of it in depth

.*I missed on a very important lecture because I was informed that its from 2pm but it actually was at 9:30am, moreover the professor gave me a piece of his mind later on, that I was no longer serious and was not concentrating on my studies.

*I could not get angry on the above issue because the mis-communication was with my close friend, but I was really p****d off.

*Moreover batch mates who saw me during the lecture-break did not bother to at least ask me that why am I not in class, despite the fact I never miss any lecture

*Was really hurt seeing the behaviors of people, how can one afford to be so selfish and self-centered, its really difficult for me to digest.

*Then I had an ego-clash with a once close friend, I just jokingly told her that I was just behaving the way she does,……….and then the way she reacted was stupid and not at all mature, the next morning when we met on the corridor I as usual gave her a smile and told her hi!, but she went by without replying and has not spoken to me since, she chooses to hang around with other people and never shares the same table with me……………So how do I react?????………well I have chosen to let things be the way she likes it, and if she doesn’t want to speak or hang around with me that’s fine with me…………..as it is I have a lot of other good friends to hang around with.

*The office joining has been postponed, hope it is further delayed, somehow I don’t fancy myself going to office and then studying all night………….i don’t think I can take that much of pressure.

And then there were some really funny and good experiences.

* My friend called me and another friend to her home, we were supposed to meet her at Rashbehari crossing, we waited there for an hour, while all the time she was waiting for us just a block away…………what helped most was the fact that she does not believe in carrying her handset along, so we just waited and kept ringing her mobile which always gave the message switched off……….we laughed our heart out all the way to the college, more so because we were really tired after a long afternoon at college-street, purchasing and bargaining on books , and then the long wait………especially when you are expecting an ice-cream treat waiting for you at the hosts home.

*Had nice adda sessions at the café after dinner with friends, discussing a lot of silly issues and then laughing out loud recounting old memories.

*Celebrated a Sunday on Wednesday as the only lecture of the day was cancelled, so had a nice 3 hours siesta in the afternoon…………it was just great.

*And then we had mutton biryani night on Wednesday, its become really difficult for us to have good food outside as chicken and eggs are now out of menu because of the bird-flu scare………..sad, really sad since my friend had promised me a tandoori chicken treat.

*And then tonight we had dinner at the college café, shared quite a few things, but didn’t get to know rkr’s secret, he protects it with Z+ security………….on the whole a good evening spent with really good friends…………but a couple of them were missing, hope to get even with them tomorrow.

An UNWANTED VISITOR

2006-02-23T23:29:00.000-08:00

Hi all!!

I am back after a long time, sorry for that, its just that I had an unwanted visitor who kept me really busy for a long time……….its name was Malaria, pretty annoying actually, really takes a toll on your health and leaves you quite weak physically, we have a famous saying in India, “aathiti devo bhava”, so you see I couldn’t actually force it to go, and my guess is that it kind of liked me, so decided to stay longer.
Anyways its gone now and somehow I don’t miss it at all.

Just a little account of what happened…….on 4th Feb. I suddenly felt really cold in the middle of the night, I was practically shivering, wore 3 sweaters, got under 2 quilts but to no avail, started feeling feverish, anyways somehow the night went by, got up in the morning and forgot about it, the same thing happened the next night and then when I got up on Monday I could not stand up, was feeling soo weak, I thought its some kind of viral fever, and kept munching Paracetamols but to no avail……….by Wednesday I felt like a piece of s***, couldn’t get up, the fever had shot up to 103-104f and got stagnant there, somehow by 1pm I amassed all strength I had in me and decided to visit the hospital…………thanks to my friends Santosh, Sanjeev and Neha, they got me a taxi and took me to CMRI where the doc diagnosed me with viral fever……….

Anyways decided to go home that day itself, 8th Feb, because I could feel myself breaking from within, my friend Santosh insisted that he would come along with me, but you see one of my friends (Rajesh) always says that I have a huge Ego problem, guess I do have it and more over my self-esteem would be tarnished and it would be confirmed that I am too weak to take care of myself had he come along with me till home…………

Must say I am blessed to have a very good group of friends they packed my stuff, completed the college formalities, got my tickets and got me on my train,
I met my other two good friends on the station itself, Rajesh and Joydeep, they had been out of station for some imp. Work………..anyways thanks everyone I owe you all one.

Somehow I managed to get home and on the same night I got admitted in the hospital, when I landed I had a fever over 104f, quite scary and then I lost consciousness and when I got up it was 9th at 6 in the evening, was diagnosed with Malaria………..
when I opened my eyes saw Mummy, Papa and Di and Puchku!! Holding a large bouquet of roses in her hands
What are they doing here?? Later Papa told me that Di had flown in early in the morning and that Bhaiya was flying in that night, anyways Papa convinced Bhaiya that I was fine so he cancelled his tickets at the last moment.

Then it was a long stay in the hospital, 8 days to be precise, with 8 injections for malaria after every 8hrs., another 6 for diarrhea, IV in both my hands and numerous injections through the IV, blood samples were taken everyday............it was quite testing ,
But the worst part was the amount of emotional and physical stress I put my family through, really felt very guilty for it, Mumma did not leave my side for a second, Papa was juggling his office and hospital visits to the best of his efforts, Di was taking care of home………guess the family gets really concerned when something happens to the youngest and most pampered child in the family.

And all the time at home I got some really good messages from my friends giving me incentives of a treat of full tandoori chicken when I get well and am back on campus.
After one week of rest at home now I am back at the college, Mummy wasn’t yet convinced that I was fit enough to come back but I have promised to have all my meals, have juice daily and to take care of myself at all times, Papa wanted to come to drop me but I do understand that its quite strenuous to travel so much in one day, so promised Papa that I would reach safely and be careful.

On the whole was a very strenuous experience which has left me feeling pretty weak physically, but then I am a certified fighter and hope I can pull this one through also…………but then sometimes some guests are pretty demanding, they just cant help it :))

??Power??

2006-02-02T23:50:00.000-08:00

I have always wondered, whether a movie has the power to change you…………

Today I had gone with my friends to see another of aamir khans genius, “Raang they Basanti”…….the theme was pretty good and so was the acting, worth the money.

But it was the discussion and soul-searching we had later which was the best……..there is something inside me which was again ignited today after seeing the movie, and I am not writing this because I am too senti. after the movie nor is it a movie hang-over……….its something which I have always discussed with my close friends earlier, a fire which was always there, but had gone a little cold because of all the tensions and competition I was handling……… possibly its an excuse to hide from the truth, my passion, something which I want to pursue, but when and how its rather difficult to say right now…….

I have always wanted to do something which can bring a change, something which can make this country better, I especially liked a particular dialogue in the movie, it said that “no country is perfect, rather we have to make it better by our contribution to the society”………

But then we get so lost in our own selfish lives we forget about things………I have always wished I were born in a pre-independent India so that this life of mine could be put to use in a much better way, the life I have right now is so useless……..my mba will finish off soon, will join office in march, then I will marry a guy decided by my parents, by the time I get to know him I will have my kids, and by the time I get to know them I will die and will be forgotten like the so, so, so, many people in this world………

I have stood in the busy streets of kolkata and wondered, who am i? what is my place in this world? How am I different from others? what have I done by which people will remember me……what will I leave in this world by which at least some people can better their lives……..

why are we forced to live such selfish lives……….why does the society teach us to turn a blind eye to everything which is wrong, why are we forced to adjust all the time, why are the bad people never punished, why do the poor keep dying and the rich keep getting richer, why is the society dominated by all the bad people, why are the good people killed in broad daylight in front of everyone, why is everyone so selfish, why cant people be happy on others success, why do we live in a world where a person is judged by the brands he/she wears, how cool he/she is, which disco thec’s he/she visits why? why? why????

There are so, so, so, many question and no answers…….

Now again, does a movie has the power to change the society, have I woken up again, will the people finally wake-up, will we be a better world………or will this movie again be passed off as a good movie with good acting and probably which will be sent to the Oscars and then forgotten about………will we learn from it, WILL WE??

+-DaYs-+

2006-02-01T00:15:00.000-08:00

before I came to this college I would not really call myself a moody person nor did things affect me as much as they sometimes do now…..

Explanation, well there are none as far as I see it……I have my very violent mood swings, things affect me in a harsh way, moreover my resistance towards annoying, self-centered, selfish people and those who think they are the real brains, is decreasing at an alarmingly fast rate.

I know its not good, will be entering the so called corporate world in a few days time and things will be really harsh out there, but then whats gonna happen, gonna happen.

But I do thank god that he has given me some really good and dependable friends here, they help me to get in a better mood, share jokes, have tea at the café together, give me good advise…….but they also sometimes end up hurting you in ways they probably do not realize, but it sure does hurt.

I sometimes wonder what it must be like to just speak your mind, no matter whoever it is…………..of course there are some things which you can never share with others, which hurt you so much deep down that it makes your heart bleed but you cant allow others to peep into your heart or else there will be repercussions which no one will be able to handle later.

Anyways got to do something to make myself like others, you know….rude, selfish, self-centered, just thinking about myself, not giving a damn for others feelings, faking a smile on my face all the time…………but then I would certainly not be myself nor like it………so guess will have to live with the way god made me……..

About Me....

2006-01-31T01:16:00.000-08:00

Since i have seen a lot of friends do this, so decided to write it in my blog too...

7 things i Love to do:
*be with my family
*watching the stars on a clear night
*sharing quality time with my close friends
*doing adventure sports
*watching some good romantic movie
*just sit in the garden and think about things with no one disturbing me
*doing good shopping

7 things i hate to do:
*explaning things about myself to others
*attending boring lectures
*bitching about others
*oversleeping
*listening to people talking crap
*smiling though I know the other person is an undercover enemy
*follow orders from others who think they know it all

7 things i want to do:
*go on a space travel
*get back to my original self
*give my family the best of presents love can buy
*keep in touch with friends past & present
*set up my own NGO, so that i can contribute on my own level
*reach to a very high level in my professional career
*and......

7 things i cant ever do:
*make others cry
*control my anger when my patience finally runs out
*tolerate two-faced people
*make friends with all
*be rude to the underpriviledged
*learn how to swim
*and......

7 things i like in the opposite sex:
*sense of humour
*way of communicating
*sensitiveness towards things
*their passion for their work
*honesty
*their height
*their looks

Good Profs.

2006-01-31T00:30:00.000-08:00

Today the 30.01.2006 is a memorable day for me at AIM…..cause today I attended the best class so far. As soon as I entered the class-room the prof. gave me a big smile, I guessed it was probably because I had never been there before, but soon I realized that I knew this guy…..had to do some soul-searching before I realized that he was the judge who had adjudged my group as the best in the Marketing case-study I had taken part in at a B-School fest……..pretty good memory must say.

The professor is a high fundo guy from the best college in India, is a very prosperous businessman, traveled probably the most of the world, pretty handsome too……but when he delivers his lectures its so good, you get so involved that time just flies by, the experience which he shares is so hilariously amazing, so simple in essence yet they convey so much so easily………

Though its bit of a pity that the class I attended is not one of my electives, I being a finance student and the class was a marketing one, though I now wish it were my course, anyways I will not let that prevent me from attending his classes…..

Do wish the other profs.could also take a hint from him and improve upon their lectures by making them livelier, rather that just boring us with monotonous stuff, or keep on bragging about their visits abroad, or further still, demoralizing us as soon as they enter the class……

.......now and forever

2006-01-26T03:56:00.000-08:00

Every night in my dreams
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never go till we're one

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not go away
You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on

We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Finally........Success for all

2006-01-26T00:40:00.000-08:00

today is probably one of the good days i've had at college, all my friends have got placed and finally we can celebrate as a group.........joydeep,poonam,jena,roy,monami,rajesh & me all have got placed. So now we all can go and party out and have a nice time............this poem is dedicated to my good friends.....

SUCCESS by Ralph Waldo Emerson

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

LIFE is........by Mother Teresa

2006-01-25T10:12:00.000-08:00

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

Change

2006-01-24T23:35:00.000-08:00

Its often said that change is the most permanent thing…………but then why is it so difficult to accept it, why cant we accept it as a fact and learn to live with it………anyways, throughout my life I have come across people who change because of petty issues.........someone gets something u dont get and then they go on a different cloud, they start ignoring u, make new friends...........pretty sad actually............how can people be so.............
very difficult to understand, though i am trying to learn to live with it but one thing's for sure its pretty difficult

Confusion

2006-01-16T23:59:00.000-08:00

...........................

back to home????

2006-01-16T09:26:00.000-08:00

Have to go back home.......God knows why life has become so complicated......seems i have totally lost control over my life, an idiot in a white court has full control over it, i am just a puppet doing just what he tells me to do ( not that i dont like giong home,i love it, but i dont like going home for the wrong reasons).........but being a true optimist, i beleive every cloud has a silver lining and i have found one for this trip also..............my niece is turning a year old on 19th and i thought i would miss her birthday, but now i can atleast be there to wish my most priced possession the very best on her special day.